Question

英语高手请进，谢谢 ！复试大神们帮帮忙

我今年32岁，在考研之前学历为本科，已取得学士学位。我是一名区县级医院的内科医师，曾多次到上级医院进修，在内科的常见病，多发病方面有一定临床经验。目前，由于环境，饮食等各方面因素，肿瘤病人日益增多，在人们心中，肿瘤是“不治之症”。近年来，经过肿瘤领域的老师们的倾心努力，这方面的医疗技术突飞猛进，肿瘤治疗发展到了一个崭新的时期。我希望在贵院得到进一步深造。如果老师们给我一个学习机会，我会利用这三年认真学习相关理论及临床实践，同时提高英语水平，为肿瘤专业的发展铺砖添瓦。

Answer 1

Dear Sir, I am 32 (years) old and I graduated from univesity and obtained the (bachelar degree) before I take entry exam of master degree.I am (an internist of a hosipital in country).(Many times),I've ever attended superior hospitals to (pursue further) studies. I have expirences on familar diseases (in my major).(nowadays) ,because of (the) enviroment and food ect, the patients with tumer are (getting) more and more. (To) lots of people's opnion, tumer is incurable disease.But recently and acturely, medical technology on tumer curing (has) advanced rapidly through experts' efforts, and tumer curing (has) developed to a new period . (For this),I hope I can take my advanced study in your hosipital.(It would be greatly grateful if you could grant me a chance.)I will take (all my) 3 years to learn the medical theory and the clinical technoloy seriously, (and) at the same time i will try my best to (emprove) my English (skills),(and) devoted myself (to) my dream! 补充一点，我是以 小牛 兄台的答案为蓝本，纠正了其中的拼写错误以及语法错误，还有些我认为的用词问题，这些都不说了，就说两点 追求深造 有个专门的表达 pursue further studies 请求别人给与的时候 不要用 can will 最好用could would 语气诚恳与委婉 打括号的部分为我修正过的，请楼主参考使用

Answer 2

I am thirty-two year's old, I graduated from univesity and obtained the bachelar's degree before I take entry exam of postgraduate. I am a internist in a conutry hosipital. I've ever attened superior hospitals for advanced studies. I have expirences on familar diseases. And now ,because of enviroment and food ect, the patients with tumer are more and more, In lots of people's opnion, tumer is incurable disease. Recently, medical technology on tumer curing advanced rapidly through experts' efforts, and tumer cure developed to a new period . So, I hope I can take my advanced study in your hosipital.If you can give me the chance of study,I will take the 3 years to learn the medical theory and the clinical technoloy seriously, at the same time i will try mu best to exprove my English ability, devoted myself for the major of tumer.