Question

请各位英语达人帮我看一下这篇作文有没有错误，如果有的话请帮我改一下，谢谢！

Everyone has a lot of dreams .Some people want to be rich. Some people want to be famous. I have a dream, too. When I was a small child, I had a dream that one day I would become a great pianist. I will play the piano in the Musikvereinin Vienna to make the best music for the whole world. When l was three years old, my parents help me please a teacher. She is very beautiful and kind. She told me how to play the piano and how to make the music sound better. When l learned two months time, I thought play the piano very difficult. After learning my arms are very acid, but I did not give up. Now, I’m twelve years old. I still want to be a pianist. I did a lot for the dream. I spend more than two hours playing the piano every day. It’s very hard, but I insist it for nine years. No mill, no meal. Now I in the Grade Examination of musical level of current year for nonprofessionals and have reached the 9th.grade in the playing of Piano. Piano is a kind of music. It helps me learn something of music. Become a piano play is a hard job. I will be harder and harder to practice it. I believe I can do it.

Answer 1

Everyone has a lot of dreams .Some people want to be rich. Some people want to be famous.（Some people want to be rich while others want to be famous）. I have a dream, too. When I was a small child（When I was a little kid）, I had a dream that one day I would become a great pianist. I will（would） play the piano in the Musikvereinin Vienna to（去掉to，改成and） make the best music for the whole world. When l was three years old, my parents help me please a teacher（my parents paid a teacher for teaching me playing the piano）. She is very beautiful and kind. She told me how to play the piano and how to make the music sound better. When l learned two months time（After learning about two months）, I thought play the piano very difficult（改成I thought it is very difficult to play the piano）. After learning my arms are very acid（去掉这句，改成 I felt my arms acid ）, but I did not give up. Now, I’m twelve years old. I still want to be a pianist. I did a lot for the dream（加上to be a pianist ）and I spend（改成spent） more than two hours playing the piano every day. It’s very hard, but I insist （加上on practicing ）it（去掉） for nine years. No mill, no meal. Now I（I’m） in the Grade Examination of musical level of current year for nonprofessionals（这句话我没懂你要表达什么，所以没改） and have reached the 9th.grade in the playing of Piano（如果你想表达的是：我现在已经达到钢琴九级的话应该这么写and have reached the qualification for the grade nine in piano-playing）. Piano is a kind of music（这句话你要表达什么呢？没懂，但你的表达方式肯定不对。）. It helps me learn something of （of 改成about）music. Become a piano play is a hard job（Become a piano player is hard）. I will be harder and harder to practice it（I would practice it harder and harder） .I believe I can do it.
你后面写的有些表达不清，不能确定你要表达什么。

追问

首先，很感谢您能帮我修改这篇作文。我仔细地看了您的回答，现在我还有几个问题想请教您（由于字数限制我将分多次追问，还望您能理解）：
1、my parents paid a teacher for teaching me playing the piano我想问一下这里为什么用paid；
2、Become a piano player is hard.这里become是否需要换成becoming；

追答

抱歉啊，现在才看到你的追问。
1、paid是pay的过去式，你想表达的是你小时候父母给你请了一个老师，所以...
2、become改成becoming。（becoming a pianist 是主语，is 动词，）

Answer 2

I will play the piano in the Musikvereinin Vienna to make the best music for the whole world.

这句怎么就没有过去式了- -

I thought play the piano very difficult

也是有错误的，我建议你写 I thought playing the piano was very difficult

please a teacher，请老师为什么要用PLEASE！！！我很好奇- -这个有点说不过去，建议用 invite（过去式：invited）

Become a piano play is a hard job.这句也不对！应该是becoming a pianist（piano play肯定不对，但是piano player也不太好）

望采纳！！！

追问

非常感谢您的回答。

Answer 3

CREEPY STORY...few years ago,a mother and father decided they needed a break,so they wanted to head out for a night on the town.
So they called their most trusted babysitter.
When the babysitter arrived,the two children were already fast asleep in bed.
So the babysitter just got to sit around and make sure everything was okay with the children.
Later at night,the babysitter got bored and went to watch tv
but she couldn't watch it downstairs because they didnt have cable downstairs
(the parents didn't want the children watching too much garbage).
So she called them and asked them if she could watch cable in the parents' room.
Of course the parents said it was ok,
but the babysitter had one final request.
She asked if she could cover up the clown satue in their bedroom
with a blanket or cloth,because it made her nervous.
The phoneline was silent for a moment,
(and the father who was talking to the babysitter at the time)
said....take the children and get out of the house....
we'll call the police...we don't have a clown statue...
the children and the babysitter got murdered by the clown.
It turned out to be that the clown was a killer that escaped from jail.
If u don't repost this within 5 minutes
the clown will be standing next to your bed at 3:00 am
with a knife in his hand. There i said it so the evil clown won't kill me.I hate chain letters!!!

Answer 4

1、I will （would）play the piano in the Musikvereinin Vienna to make the best music for the whole world
2、my parents help me please（employee雇佣 ） a teacher.
3、She told me how to play the piano and how to（此处how to可省略） make the music sound better
4、When l learned （+it for learn为机务动词，需加宾语）two months time, I thought play（playing） the piano very difficult.
5、Now I（+have been） in the
6、Become（becoming） a piano play is a hard job

追问

非常感谢您的回答

Answer 5

Some people want to be the rich。

I thought it is difficult to play the piano。

Answer 6

你写的作文很棒，没有问题