Question

哪位高手帮我改改作文啊，万分感谢哈！

Do you agree or disagree that with the following statement:
It's more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities(such as swimming pool, playground)

Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, we find that people hold the idea that the government investment in art museums and music performance center is much more essential than recreational facilities, meanwhile others cherish the contrary view. From my point of view, it is more advisable to choose the former viewpoint.

The main reason for my propensity for the former one is that the government would benefit more from art museums and music performance center. In other words, governments will get more profits from the tickets of art museums and music performance center which is higher than that of recreational facilities. Let’s take an extreme case for example, a ticket charges 100 dollars for a piano concert of a celebrity will bring more profit for the government than the playground which is for free.

Another reason can be seen by everyone is that the art atmosphere contribute to the education in the region where art museums and music performance center is regarded as essential objects to invest. According to 100 studies carried out in 10 major cities throughout China, 80 percent of senior high students regard art as an essential part of their life. No one can deny the truth behind the number.

In addition, an equal essential factor which deserves people’s attention is art museums and music performance center have the function of spread chinese culture, since paintings and music are the medium for us to show our culture to others. For instance, an art exhibition in your city might attract people all over the world, thus more and more people could learn about Chinese culture from the show.

All in all, although some people may still remain unconvinced, the reasons I have analyzed could at least make them more aware of the various dimension of the issue under discussion. There is little doubt that more and more people will come to realize that it is more essential for government to invest in art museums and music performance center.

Answer 1

Do you agree or disagree that with the following statement:
It's more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities(such as swimming pool, playground)

Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, we find that people hold the idea that the government investment in art museums and music performance center is much more essential than recreational facilities, meanwhile others cherish the contrary view. From my point of view, it is more advisable to choose the former viewpoint.

The main reason for my propensity for the former one is that the government would benefit more from art museums and music performance center. In other words, governments will get more profits from the tickets of art museums and music performance center which is higher than that of recreational facilities. Let’s take an extreme case for example, a ticket charges 100 dollars for a piano concert of a celebrity will bring more profit for the government than the playground which is for free.

Another reason can be seen by everyone is that the art atmosphere contribute to the education in the region where art museums and music performance center is regarded as essential objects to invest. According to 100 studies carried out in 10 major cities throughout China, 80 percent of senior high students regard art as an essential part of their life. No one can deny the truth behind the number.

In addition, an equal essential factor which deserves people’s attention is art museums and music performance center have the function of spread chinese culture, since paintings and music are the medium for us to show our culture to others. For instance, an art exhibition in your city might attract people all over the world, thus more and more people could learn about Chinese culture from the show.

All in all, although some people may still remain unconvinced, the reasons I have analyzed could at least make them more aware of the various dimension of the issue under discussion. There is little doubt that more and more people will come to realize that it is more essential for government to invest in art museums and music performance center.
翻译成中文：您同意以下声明:
更重要的是让政府花费的钱,建起的艺术博物馆与音乐表演中心比建立娱乐设施(如游泳池,操场)

根据个人的经验,个性和情感的关注时,我们发现,人们认为政府投资的观念,在艺术博物馆和音乐演出中心更重要得多比娱乐设施、同时别人珍惜行骗

Answer 2

有些思路可以加进去，例如:
1. 多建一些，art museums and music performance center.可以提高人民生活素质。更多的接触一些不同的文化
2. because the whole word is growing at an incredible speed.如果建这些，在相同情况下，前者（你的观点）更可以反应了一个国家，一个城市的整体面貌，文化素养，因为如果一个城市富裕，才会有。

可以再你的第三个观点文化那儿，用1,2句话，一笔带过这两个

文章很流畅，挺好的。发现有紧扣模板的情况。。。

还有就是，这样一边倒的文章，不太好写啊。。。“大牛”们才写呀。。。
建议练的时候两方面都写吧。。

Answer 3

写的还好的