Question

托福独立写作帮忙打个分谢谢！！！

是否国货价格上涨还是要坚持买国货
Protecting our country is a perpetual topic in our times.Buying commodities made in our country is a important and imperative part of the process that protects our country.In the past decades,most people should spontaneously buy things cheaper wherever they are made,since the undeveloped and low science and technology.But today,as the gradually raised living standards,there is a trend that people progressively buy things in their own country,even the price is higher than same thing made somewhere else.Therefore it is a unavoidable and fierce debate on it.
It is undeniable that people should buy things made in our country is correct.When we buy things that are made in our country,our country economy will bulge progressively,no matter what the price is.So this action is a direct and obvious way to protect our country.If the price is low,most people will achieve it more easily and preferable.After all the notion that protecting our country is filled with our every native.
But,I doubt that even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else,we also should buy the things that made in our country for every individual.Every individual has his or her own limitation so that we can't ask everyone to buy things made in our country higher even it is a way that protecting our country economy. If the quality of the things is the same and the price is lower than that made in our country,to some not rich people,it can save their money that is hard to get for them.To some extent,even if buying price higher things absolutely is a way to protect our country economy,as a result,it may bring some individuals to get into trouble that make his or her life difficult.Is it wonder that our government want to see?The answer is admittablely negative.
Judging from above evidence,I can hardly agree that people should buy things made in their own country,even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.It depends on the position and the wealthy that every person has.The high position and richer individual should make it as possible as they can,but ordinary people don't need to achieve it over his or her ability.

Answer 1

Protecting our country is a perpetual topic in our times.Buying commodities made in our country is a（an） important and imperative part of the process that protects our country.In the past decades,（这句语法太绕了，换成it is important and imperative to buy ...... in order to protect our country..........）most（Most） people should spontaneously buy things cheaper wherever（regardless of where） they are made,since the undeveloped and low（low用词不当 ） science and technology.But today,as the gradually raised living standards,there is a trend that people progressively buy things in their own country,even the price is higher than same thing made somewhere else.Therefore it is（there is） a unavoidable and fierce debate on it.
It is undeniable that people should buy things made in our country is correct（is correct删除）.When we buy things that are made in our country,our country economy will bulge progressively,no matter what the price is.So this action is a direct and obvious way to protect our country.If the price is low,most people will achieve it more easily and preferable.After all the notion that protecting our country is filled with our every native.（病句...）
But,I doubt that even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else,we also should buy the things that made in our country for every individual.Every individual has his or her own limitation so that we can't ask everyone to buy things made in our country higher（in higher price） even it is a way that protecting （to protect）our country economy. If the quality of the things is the same (remains the same)and the price is lower than that made in our country,to some not rich people,it can save their money that is hard to get for them.（啰嗦）To some extent,even if buying price higher things absolutely is a way to protect our country economy,as a result,it may bring some individuals to get into trouble that make his or her life difficult.Is it wonder that our government want to see（病句）?The answer is admittablely negative.
Judging from above evidence,I can hardly agree that people should buy things made in their own country,even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.It depends on the position and the wealthy that every person has.The high position and richer individual should make it as possible as they can,but ordinary people don't need to achieve it over his or her ability.

20分左右 语法问题很严重，很多小错或者病句，建议把基础的语法凿实，毕竟托福考察的第一是逻辑，第二就是语法
用词重复要避免，多背单词，多看看报纸或者电影，熟悉英文的变换方式和习惯用语
另外在第一段一定要明确点出你的立场，不同意就是不同意，不要说there is a debate但是不明说自己的观点，外国人习惯的议论文就是给出背景然后立马立题，他们也没有耐心到后面去推断你的观点