Question

这篇托福作文可以打几分？谢谢有考试经验的大虾指教和点评。这是我写的第一篇托福作文，谢谢

When it comes to the question whether subjects such as art,music, and drama should be a part of every child’s basic education, opinion varies from person to person. Some may think such subjects related to arts are essential to children’s growth while the other think children are wasting time if they spare time on learning such subjects. As for me, I hold the opinion that subjects such as art,music,and drama should be a part of every child’s basic education and reasons are presented as follows.

First of all, art is a good way to inspire provoking-thought which would certainly benefit the study in other realm. Many scientists bear a deep interest in arts, and art in turn inspires their thought. For example, the famous physician Albert Einstein is also a violinist. He liked to play the violin for a short time during the process of a experiment. To some extent, violin made him relaxed for a while after a long time complex thinking and inspired him for further thinking in the physics. So subjects about arts can

Secondly, subjects about arts enrich children’s mind. As a comprehensive basic education system subjects related to arts should be listed on the course list. Art such as music and drama is one type of the human’s splendid creation and is an important media to pass the emotion from person to person, especially a master to a group of ordinary people. We look inside into the composers’ internal world through the composer’s work, with our own feeling about the music, from happiness to anxiety, from loneliness to appreciation. And I will never forget how touching I am when I hear the concert on Beethoven’s sonata and how inspired by the Shakespear’s classic drama, Hamlet. Arts express the other people’s thoughts and values while enriching my mind.

Finally, involving such subjects at least provides an opportunity to keep children informed of arts and develops an interest in arts no matter whether a child will eventually become a musician or a dramatist or just a typical office worker. Furthermore, studying abroad provides students with a good opportunity to experience a totally different culture. If subjects about art are eliminated from basic education children are less accessible to the world of art. That means a large amount of children have to learn about art in some day later in their life or even could never be exposed to the charm of art.

In word, subjects such as art, music and drama should be a part of every child’s basic education. For art may inspire us, enrich our mind and art is one necessary part of our life.

Answer 1

语言蛮深奥，写得较好，不过意思表达不清楚。如果总分10分，那我可以打8.7分，继续努力，虽是新手，但写得特别好

Answer 2

新东方批改网可以评分，但是要花钱。
具体的可以上那个网看看。