Question

谁英语好点的，帮我修改一下英语作文

Hi Jack!
We haven't met for a long time .How's everything. I miss you very much. I'm busy these days I'm busy for look a job As you know it's hard to find a job now But I'm lucky through my efforts a boss of a bank decided give me a chance to employed after the interview. I become a bank clerk Because the bank lines in shopping district I will move to Oxford Street next week.It's near my workplace. The transportation is converient and the neighborhood is describle .Although I live far from your house I will still vist you. Welcome to my new house The adress is 3-12 City Garden 14 You can take No.15 bus to my house. My new temephone number is 123456789 I'm waiting for you.
Plese take my regards to you parents
Sincerely yours
Lydia

Answer 1

Hi Jack!
We haven't met for a long time .How's everything going. I miss you very much. I'm busy these days for looking a job. As you know ,it's hard to find a job now. But I'm lucky ,a boss of a bank decides to employ me after an interview, I am now the bank's clerk ,As the bank locates in the shopping district ,I will have to move to Oxford Street next week.It's near to my workplace. The transportation is converient and the neighborhood is kind .Although I live far away from your house, I will still call on you. Welcome to my new house .The adress is 3-12 City Garden 14. You can take No.15 bus to my house. My new temephone number is 123456789 I'm waiting for you.
Plese take my regards to you parents

Answer 2

Hi Jack!
We haven't met for a long time .How's everything going(加个going好一些）. I miss you very much. I'm busy these days. I'm busy looking(be busy doing) a job。 As you know it's hard to find a job now But I'm lucky through my efforts a boss of a bank decided give me a chance to employed after the interview. I beame（过去式吧） a bank clerk Because the bank lines in shopping district I will move to Oxford Street next week.It's near to my workplace. The transportation is converient and the neighborhood is describle .Although I live far from your house I still will （顺序应该颠倒一下吧）vist you. Welcome to my new house The adress is 3-12 City Garden 14 You can take No.15 bus to my house. My new temephone number is 123456789 I'm waiting for you.
Plese take my regards to you parents
Sincerely yours
Lydia

Answer 3

Hi Jack!
We haven't met for a long time .How's everything going. I miss you very much. I'm busy finding a job these days .As you know it's hard to find a job now. But I'm lucky .With my efforts a boss of a bank decided to give me a chance after the interview. I become a bank clerk Because the bank is in shopping district I will move to Oxford Street next week.It's near my workplace. The transportation is converient and the neighborhood is describle .Although my house is far from yours I will still visit you. Welcome to my new home.The adress is 3-12 City Garden 14 .You can take No.15 bus to my house. My new temephone number is 123456789 I'm waiting for you.
Plese take my regards to you parents
Yours sincerely

Lydia
如果你写的是书信体，Hi Jack!中的叹号应用逗号。
How's everything. 加个going
注意你的句式