Question

雅思作文批改

题目:Some people believe that students should take all school subjects. However, others believe that students should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find most interesting.Discuss both these views and give your own opinions?

希望能改出语法错误,并看下是否跑题,再判个分.
我的作文

Nowadays, there are more than 7 subjects in each school. Some people believe that it is right that students take all school subject. But in the mean time, others still suggest students concentrate on some subject they like or they are best at. I, in my opinion, suppose the second view.

The second argument is that students should focus on some subjects that they perfer or they are good at, which people called talent nurtured. At the begining, not only does it promote the development of students' talent, it is also benefical to cultivate spacialists. In addition, concentrative studying their interested can enhance its grade quickly as well as let students aquire amusement and enjoyment rather than taking all subjects. Thirdly, therefore employment competatition will be violent, spacialist would be required, such as doctor,technical talent. At last, essentially, the subject that students prefer motivate them more to study.

The first argument may be ture at current situation, which in exam-oriented education. Students have to pass Gaokao, has 5 subject at least, because it is the stepping-stone to univesity and it decides people whether can aquire great higher education, like SAT in USA. And sometimes, taking all school suvjects, certainly, may make students become well-rounded generalists and aquire more knowledge. But on the other hand, it may increase students' academic and psychological burden, it is too weigh that there are more homework or every subject must pass.

In conclusion, the action in the first view brings negative effects on students' welfare, so, I perfer the second view. I think parents should strike a balance between two actions above, by that it promote the student's intellectual and emotional development better.

Answer 1

Nowadays, there are more than 7 subjects in each school. 别扭，Some people believe that it is right that students take all school subject. 不要尝试这种复杂句，多累赘呀，But in the mean time, others still suggest students concentrate on some subject they like or they are best at. I, in my opinion, suppose the second view.让我想起了一句著名的古诗：关门闭户掩柴扉

The second argument is that students should focus on some subjects that they perfer or they are good at, which 这个指代谁？people called talent nurtured. 。。。

还是能力的问题，多练吧。提高应该很快。建议尽量用简单句把话说清楚就好，复杂句用好了能加分，用不好就事得其反了。如果你能做到简单明确，应该能增长至少1分。

Answer 2

新奇雅思有专门的作文批改卡，有专业老师批改，感兴趣的话可以到新奇雅思的网站上看一下写作批改卡

Answer 3

感觉好多模板句子，去掉这些吧，换一些
Some people believe that it is right that students take all school subject. But in the mean time, others still suggest students concentrate on some subject they like or they are best at. I, in my opinion, suppose the second view.
The second argument is that students
The first argument may be ture at current situation,

Answer 4

这篇作文4分或4.5分吧，问题太多，三言两语讲不完。