雅思作文求批改~~~
题目：Someonebelievesthatitisbetterforgovernmentstoinvesttopreventingcitizensfromhavingi...
题目：Someone believes that it is better for governments to invest to preventing citizens from having illnesses than to curing them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Hardly can the public reach a consensus on the question whether authorities should be economically responsible for the prevention of diseases or the treatment of patients in current society. I would like to compare these two opinions from the following aspects.
Admittedly, most governments have made a great success in treating the patients recently. There are many countries trying to give the citizens the medical insurance to help them to deal with the normal illness. Also, many citizens are satisfied with the way that the government does. Furthermore, this kind of step helps most citizens to decrease the illness and make a connection between the government and the people.
However, many experts, sociologists and economists advise the government should give more investment to do a good prevention of diseases than to treat the patients. To be specific, the authorities should pay more attention on protecting the environment around the citizens which is a good way to decrease spreading of the diseases. Moreover, the government needs to advertise the healthy diet and lifestyle, and this way can be much better than Medicare after the people get diseases.
In the final analysis, the government expenditure on preventing diseases not only helps people to keep away from the illnesses, but they also decrease the pressure of the doctors and the hospitals. Overall, the advantages of giving investment to preventing the diseases than curing people with illnesses at present.
谢谢各位高手，老师啦~~ 展开
Hardly can the public reach a consensus on the question whether authorities should be economically responsible for the prevention of diseases or the treatment of patients in current society. I would like to compare these two opinions from the following aspects.
Admittedly, most governments have made a great success in treating the patients recently. There are many countries trying to give the citizens the medical insurance to help them to deal with the normal illness. Also, many citizens are satisfied with the way that the government does. Furthermore, this kind of step helps most citizens to decrease the illness and make a connection between the government and the people.
However, many experts, sociologists and economists advise the government should give more investment to do a good prevention of diseases than to treat the patients. To be specific, the authorities should pay more attention on protecting the environment around the citizens which is a good way to decrease spreading of the diseases. Moreover, the government needs to advertise the healthy diet and lifestyle, and this way can be much better than Medicare after the people get diseases.
In the final analysis, the government expenditure on preventing diseases not only helps people to keep away from the illnesses, but they also decrease the pressure of the doctors and the hospitals. Overall, the advantages of giving investment to preventing the diseases than curing people with illnesses at present.
谢谢各位高手，老师啦~~ 展开
3个回答
展开全部
patients in current society ，normal...illness ，decrease...illness，illnesses at present 在英语本族语中很少使用
better than在做“优于”讲时，是普通词组，建议替换为superior to
建议你到新东方批改网上改改，都是外教改的
自己写了一篇自我感觉良好的，拿上来粗批一下改的满目疮痕啊。。。。
还好帮我指出了问题！最好雅思考的时候作文写得很爽
better than在做“优于”讲时，是普通词组，建议替换为superior to
建议你到新东方批改网上改改，都是外教改的
自己写了一篇自我感觉良好的，拿上来粗批一下改的满目疮痕啊。。。。
还好帮我指出了问题！最好雅思考的时候作文写得很爽
更多追问追答
追问
那你能给我看下我这个大概多少分吗，3Q
追答
学术词汇很丰富，词类多样，长短句搭配恰当，应该能得个7.5-8分，只是给你个参考啊，
已赞过
已踩过<
评论
收起
你对这个回答的评价是？
推荐律师服务：
若未解决您的问题，请您详细描述您的问题，通过百度律临进行免费专业咨询
