Question

帮忙修改英语作文6（高考水平的，太烂了，不要骂我）

毕业在即，给你的高中阶段的老师（姓王）写一封信，内容可以包括：感谢他给你的关心和帮助，对你曾经的莽撞和不懂事表示歉意，澄清你们之间的误会等等。你可以选择其中的一个或几个话题，并描述具体事例。
Mrs Wang:
I really want to express my gratutide for you.When I was studying in the school,you always helped me and you never would be bored.That time my English was indeed poor ,you dramatically pulled me out of the depression.One day, I was disappointed,and you said to me that whatever I would be in the future,I should be happy from the cradle to the grave.Now my English is still poor,but I keep on reading English every day.When I am faced with difficult problems,I always will deal with them with a good attitude.The final exam is coming,and I will try to embrace it happily.I will never forget what you have said that be happy every day.
You honest
XXX

帮忙修改下，打个分吧
如何修改更好，帮忙用上好的句型！谢谢！

Answer 1

Mrs Wang:
I really want to express my gratutide to you.When I was studying in the school,you always helped me and you would never be bored. At that time my English was indeed poor ,you dramatically handed me out of the depression.One day, I was disappointed,and you said to me that whatever I would be in the future,I should be happy from the cradle to the grave.Now my English is still poor,but I keep on reading English every day.When I am faced with difficult problems,I will always deal with them with a good attitude.The final exam is coming,and I will try to embrace it happily.I will never forget what you have said to be happy every day.
Yours sincerely
XXX

如果是百分制的话，65分吧。

Answer 2

中规中矩，没有大的谬误，18-20吧

追问

如何更好，请修改下。

追答

你的句子像小孩写的一样，完全是一个个平行结构的句子连接起来的产物，试着用用复合句与连词的搭配，不要想着用生僻词，一点用都没有。记住中文讲就的是辞藻华丽，英文讲究的是结构多变