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总有一个适合你，哈哈哈！
Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."
Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.
妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的.
"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
"Yours?Can you prove it?"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
"请原谅,你占了我的位置.""你的位置?你能征明这点吗?""能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌.
"One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?
"Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?""No, but I am always thirsty!"
总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”
A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
一个有效的方法爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。
A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.
凯特的礼物凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
The Doctor Knows Better.
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”
Waste or Save?
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?
浪费还是节约
父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!他为什么喊牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！
Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."
Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.
妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的.
"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
"Yours?Can you prove it?"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
"请原谅,你占了我的位置.""你的位置?你能征明这点吗?""能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌.
"One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?
"Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?""No, but I am always thirsty!"
总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”
A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
一个有效的方法爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。
A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.
凯特的礼物凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
The Doctor Knows Better.
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”
Waste or Save?
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?
浪费还是节约
父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!他为什么喊牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！
追问
有没有再长一点的？（多一半字）
追答
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
Good News and Bad News
The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and
tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news
and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?"
"The good news!" they all shouted.
"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving
a complete change of clothing."
"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.
"And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you
will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ....
好消息和坏消息
士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布：
“士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？”
“好消息！”他们嚷道。
“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身
衣服。”
“乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。
“现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆
换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”
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