托福TPO 3的独立写作各位帮忙修改下呗！！多谢 10
题目观点大概就是老朋友比新朋友重要Ontheissuewhetherit'smorevitaltokeepyouroldfriendsormakenewoneshould...
题目观点大概就是 老朋友比新朋友重要
On the issue whether it's more vital to keep your old friends or make new one should be solved with a critical mind. With different aspects took into acount, choosing any side solely is unwise, since old and new friendship will bring you diverse feelings.
People think of the significance of old friends along with the age increasing. The old friendship is like stored wine. With years passing by, it'll be worth treasuring more. Of course a short emotion can't be compared with the friendship for years, especially during the childhood. The happiness of real old friendship established on innocent smiles are irriplaceable and will maintain that kind of feeling even after the children grow up and get mature. With a 10 years or more of stable relationship, a man will hardly reject his old friends' request and spare no effort to help him/her without any complex consideration for payback.
New firendship, to some extent however, is as vital as the old. From the aspects of people's career and new goals, to make some new friends will strengthen a person's social network. For a young man who just come to a big city, like New Youk city without any relatives, he will spend time adjusting himself to the new environment by a series of action, one of which is getting along with people around. New friends will make you get to know something fresh instead of unchangeable modes. Especially for those occupied with artistic professions, exposing themselves to new fresh air by contacting with new friends is absolutely beneficial. At least, there are new activity to participate in, new topics to talk about, and new memories to remember.
As a matter of fact, emphasizing on any of the two is grossly subjetive. While old friends may understand you much deeper with endless topic about anything, new friends usually company you more often in a certain reality and inject new blood into your life. What’s more, the difference between "old" and "new" is reatively implicit, since new friends will sonner or later become old ones.
Ultimately, my personal opinion is substantiated from the above, that is, the two kinds of friendship both have shining points. To cherish the old friendship and get to know new ones is recommended, and neither of them should and can be excluded.
希望说明哪里有问题，比如结构，用语。最好能具体些。谢谢你们了！！
其实任何有想法的都可以提些意见，至于是否采纳我自己是可以判断的。多谢了 展开
On the issue whether it's more vital to keep your old friends or make new one should be solved with a critical mind. With different aspects took into acount, choosing any side solely is unwise, since old and new friendship will bring you diverse feelings.
People think of the significance of old friends along with the age increasing. The old friendship is like stored wine. With years passing by, it'll be worth treasuring more. Of course a short emotion can't be compared with the friendship for years, especially during the childhood. The happiness of real old friendship established on innocent smiles are irriplaceable and will maintain that kind of feeling even after the children grow up and get mature. With a 10 years or more of stable relationship, a man will hardly reject his old friends' request and spare no effort to help him/her without any complex consideration for payback.
New firendship, to some extent however, is as vital as the old. From the aspects of people's career and new goals, to make some new friends will strengthen a person's social network. For a young man who just come to a big city, like New Youk city without any relatives, he will spend time adjusting himself to the new environment by a series of action, one of which is getting along with people around. New friends will make you get to know something fresh instead of unchangeable modes. Especially for those occupied with artistic professions, exposing themselves to new fresh air by contacting with new friends is absolutely beneficial. At least, there are new activity to participate in, new topics to talk about, and new memories to remember.
As a matter of fact, emphasizing on any of the two is grossly subjetive. While old friends may understand you much deeper with endless topic about anything, new friends usually company you more often in a certain reality and inject new blood into your life. What’s more, the difference between "old" and "new" is reatively implicit, since new friends will sonner or later become old ones.
Ultimately, my personal opinion is substantiated from the above, that is, the two kinds of friendship both have shining points. To cherish the old friendship and get to know new ones is recommended, and neither of them should and can be excluded.
希望说明哪里有问题，比如结构，用语。最好能具体些。谢谢你们了！！
其实任何有想法的都可以提些意见，至于是否采纳我自己是可以判断的。多谢了 展开
1个回答
展开全部
不太formal，只能说一看就知道是中国人写的，不过中国人里算很不错的了，加油~
追问
什么地方不formal？可否具体点呢
追答
keep old friend or make new one 就很奇怪。。。bring diverse feeling更怪，是模版吧~不过模版不意味着低分，只是高分很难而已。。。with the increasing of ages....
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