Question

请高手帮忙批改作文，谢谢了！！！

Compared with people who live in urban areas, the people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families？

With the rapid expansion of city scale and ever-increasing difference between rural life and urban life,we begin to focus on which areas we prefer to take care of our familiies. Naturally, whether we should support our nuclear family in rural regions or in urban regions has been a highly disputable issue.From my perspective,living in city is more beneficial to our family members.

To begin with,urban life can afford us a variety of leisure facilities to give our family a wide range of choices for recreation.Leisure facilities,by definition,are places or facilities that can clam the nerves and restore the soul,expand our outlook,enhance our family bonds with our immediate family,etc.Especially,these facilities can benefit the elderly and children most,which are the centers of every family to be cared.Such lesiure facilities as public library,zoo,amusement park and gallery will maintian our physical and psychological soundness.Only in urban areas can we find a large amounts of these facilities.In contrast,rural regions can't meet our these needs.

More importantly,cities have more advanced medical condition,which is essential for our daily life.For a family,especially the family with seniors,hospital plays a vital role in maintaining our members' health and curing various diseases coming to our body. Many demanding diseases,like cardiovascular diseases and cancer ,should be treated in cities better.Apparently,the level of medical condition in the areas we living will determine the health condition,even our life expectancy.It's no doubt that urban areas'medical level,which is reflected by doctors and medical equipment,is more desirable than rural areas'.

Grantedly,in rural areas,our family can have a fresher air,a friendly environment,a better traffic confition.I admit these factors is also important for our family.Even so,comparied with both physcial and psychological well-being urban life offers,these factor rural life can afford inevitablely take the second place.

In summary,the better choice of which areas to reside is living in urban regions,which is benefical to all our family members.Accordingly,excellent health contion for seniors,fullfillment of within for children.

Answer 1

With the rapid expansion of city scale（size） and ever-increasing difference（s） between rural life and urban life,we begin to focus on which areas we prefer to take care of our familiies（family）.（focus on 某个问题、某个事件，衔接不当） Naturally, whether we should support our nuclear family in rural regions or in urban regions has been a highly disputable issue.From my perspective,living in city（cities） is more beneficial to our family members.

To begin with,urban life can afford(afford主语常常是人吧，建议provide) us a variety of leisure（？） facilities to（这句不对，to表目的？逻辑上错了） give our family a wide range of choices for recreation.Leisure facilities,by definition,are places or facilities that can 【clam the nerves and restore the soul,expand our outlook,】（3个都比较中式）enhance our family bonds with our immediate family,etc.Especially,these facilities can benefit the elderly and children most,which are the centers of every family to be cared.Such lesiure facilities as public library,zoo,amusement park and gallery will maintian（maintain） our physical and psychological soundness.Only in urban areas can we find a large amounts of these facilities.In contrast,rural regions can't meet our these needs.

弱弱说一句，感觉是先想好中文再翻译过来的感觉，不地道。
大致看了一下，改了部分~
你是要考托福吧，建议你到小马过河和寄托两个论坛，在Toefl小组里，加入后把文章发上去就有人帮忙改了。~

Answer 2

总体不错，用词较高级的，可能有点细节需要润色，没有大问题。是干什么用的？
太多，没有时间，抽一段看看，在括号里作的修改：
With the rapid expansion of city (size) and ever-increasing difference(s) between rural life and urban life,we begin to focus on which (aspects) we prefer to take care of our familiies. Naturally, whether we should support our nuclear family in rural regions or in urban regions has been a highly disputable issue.From my perspective,living in (a) city is more beneficial to our family members.