Question

急求英语小笑话 附有中文翻译的

本人急求一则英语小笑话   要附带中文翻译的要求笑话不要过长  不要太短通俗易懂   不要太难的  紧急紧急！

Answer 1

One or Two
Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.
顾客：服务员，我盘子里怎么只有一块肉？
服务员：先生，请稍候，我去把它切成两块。

Father and Son
Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
儿子：爸爸，听说在非洲的一些地方男人在结婚前根本不认识他的妻子。
父亲：孩子，实际上所有的国家都是这样的。

It depends
Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
旅行者：我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗？
售票员：那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。

To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer（门厅，大厅） . A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?
Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all.
Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row.
在一家电影院里，一名观众在演出期间站了起来，沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。几分钟后，他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道：
对不起，请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你的脚吗？
是的，不过没什么关系，一点也不疼。
噢，不，我不是这个意思。我只是想确认一下这是不是我的那排位子。

Answer 2

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红？
弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架？
妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。

Answer 3

"Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!"
救命啊！医生！请快点来！我十岁的儿子刚刚吞下了一只笔！
"Ok, I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes."
好的，我这就去。我大概会在10到20分钟内赶到。
"Good, but...what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"
很好，但是···我现在应该怎么做呢？
"Just use another pen!"
你先用另一支笔吧！

Answer 4

Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?
Jack: Certainly.
Tom: And why?
Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？
杰克：当然应该了。
汤姆：为什么？
杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。