Question

求一段幽默的英语对话

时间在两分钟左右 不要太长 最好内容简单易懂一点 最好能把翻译也带上 高一英语课前表演 谢谢大家了。。

Answer 1

　　one day June Green visited the family doctor，Edward Smith. Dr.Smith was an old man with a long beard.
　　"What's the problem, June?" Dr.Smith asked her.
　　"I'm very worried about my son, Teddy." Mrs.Green said. "I can't stop him form gambling. He spends all his money betting on horse races. And not just on horse races, he'll bet on anying. It dosen't matter what it is."
　　"I've cured people of gambling before." Dr.Smith said." Send him to me. I'll talk to him."
　　A week later, Dr.Smith spoke to Mrs. Green on the phone.
　　"I think I've cured your son." he said.
　　"That's wonderful. How did you do it?"
　　''Well," the doctor said."It was very strange. While we were talking he was looking at my beard. Suddenly he said,'I bet you ＄50 that's a false beard."
　　"Oh,no!" Mrs. Green cried.
　　''It's all right.'' the doctor said.''I know what to do. ' My beard isn't a false one.' And I can prove it.''
　　'' Can I pull your beard and find out?'' your son asked me .''
　　'' I thought, this was my chance to teach him a lesson, so I said ,'' yes, you can pull my beard.''
　　''Well, he pulled it, and soon found out it was real." The doctor laughed, '' He had to pay me ＄50. That should cure his gambling.''
　　''Doctor,'' Mrs. Green said.''you're wrong. you haven't cured him. you're made him even worse.''
　　''How can that be?''
　　''The day before he went to see you, he bet me ＄100 that you would ask him to pull your bedrd!''

　　有天JUNE GREEN 去看家庭医生EDWARD SMITH.SMITH大夫是位留着长胡子的老人。
　　SMITH大夫问她：“有什么问题么，JUNE?"
　　"我很担心我儿子，TEDDY." GREEN太太说。“我没法阻止他去赌博。他花了自己所有的钱去赌马。现在，还不只赌马了，他几乎见什么赌什么。”
　　“我以前治疗过赌博成瘾的人。”SMITH大夫说。“叫你儿子来，我和他谈谈。”
　　一个星期后，SMITH大夫打电话给GREEN 太太。
　　“我想我已经治好了你儿子。”他说。
　　"那正是太好了，您怎么治疗的?"
　　''是啊" 大夫说."其实挺奇怪的。当我们交谈时，他总是看着我的胡子。突然他说，‘我赌50块钱，你胡子是假的"
　　"哦，不!" GREEN 太太哭起来.
　　''这没什么'' 大夫接着说.''我知道该怎么做. ' 我的胡子不是假的.' 而且我可以证明是真的.''
　　'' 我能拔下跟你的胡子看看是否是真的么'' 你的儿子说 .''
　　'' 我觉得这是个机会给他个教训, 所以我说 ,'' 行, 你可以拔我的胡子.''
　　'’然后他就拔了根胡子, 并且很快发现那是真的胡子." 大夫笑道, '' 他就只能输给我50块. 这能矫正他赌瘾.''
　　''大夫,''Green 太太说.”你错了，你并没有治好他，反而更糟糕了.''
　　''怎么会呢?''
　　''去见您的前一天, 他和我赌100块，你主动让他拔你的胡子!''

Answer 2

1 Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
2 I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
3.
Speke:How do you do! My name is Speke.
Watt:How do you do! My name is Watt.
Speke (to the phone): Are you there?
Watt (to the phone): Yeah，I am here.
Speke: so，what's your name please?
Watt: Watt.
Speke: Can't you hear me? I am asking you, what's your name?
Watt: Watt's my name.
Speke: Yes, what's your name?!!!
Watt: My name's Watt.
Speke: Oh, man! I ask you what's your name.
Watt: And I am telling you,my name is Watt.
Speke: OK, I don't know.
Watt: I am Watt-w -a-t-t.
Speke: Oh, oh,Watt, sure,I see now.
Watt: Who's that?
Speke: Speke.
Watt: I AM speaking. What's your name?
Speke: My name's Speke-s -p-e-k-e. I want to speak to Day(另一个人的名字）.
Watt: You can speak today. And I can hear you.
Speke: I don't want to speak to you. I want to speak to Day.
Watt: Sure, TODAY, at what time?
Speke: Now! I want to speak to Day. To Day! To Day!
Watt: It's today now, Speke. speak, speak!
Speke: OK，listen,I want to speak to Mr.Day,Mr.Peter Day, NOW!!
Watt: Oh, now I see. You can't speak to Day today. He doesn't want to speak to Speke today. Good-bye!
Speke: oh, my God!
Speke:您好!我的名字是Speke。
　　瓦特:您好!我的名字是瓦特。
　　Speke(电话):你在那儿吗?
　　瓦特(电话):是啊,我在这里。
　　Speke:那么,你叫什么名字?
　　瓦特:瓦特。
　　Speke:你没听到我说的了吗?我问的是你,你叫什么名字?
　　瓦特:瓦特是我的名字。
　　Speke:是的,你叫什么名字? ! ! !
　　瓦特:我的名字是瓦特。
　　Speke:噢,天啊!我问你你叫什么名字。
　　瓦特:我告诉你,我的名字是瓦特。
　　Speke:好吧,我不知道。
　　瓦特:我Watt-w -a-t-t。
　　Speke:哦,哦,瓦特,
4 A Soldier's Brilliant Idea

Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.

When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.

Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 鲁滨孙先生不得不进行商业旅行，因为他很忙，他决定乘飞机去。他喜欢坐在旁边的一个窗口时，他飞的，所以当他登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现他们已经采取了只有一个。一个士兵坐在座位旁边的这一位，并鲁滨孙先生很惊讶，他找了个不靠窗的；但是，无论如何，他在一次去实现它。当他到达时，然而，他看见有一个关于它。它是用墨水写的和说，“这个座位是保留适当的负载平衡，谢谢你。”鲁滨孙先生从来没有见过这样一个位子，但是他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个座位，不在窗口，坐在。两个或三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到通知，接着，当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。士兵，谁看着乘客进来，很快就通知了他旁边空座位上的，这样的成功有公司的女孩，在整个行程。

Answer 3

In a restaurant
Customer: Look! your finger is in the soup!
Waitress: It doesn't matter, it is not so hot.