Question

英语二人幽默对话

Answer 1

One day, a village idiot won the first prize in the lottery(彩票).
“How did you guess the lucky number?” asked his neighbor.
“Well, three times, I dream of seven; so I figure it out that three times seven are twenty-four, and I bought the ticket with number 24 then I won the first prize.”
“Why, you blamed fool (你这个傻瓜！). Three times seven is twenty-one not twenty-four.”
“Is that so?” said the village idiot, Well, twenty-four won, anyway.”

参考资料：http://www.sowerclub.com/ViewTopic.php?id=138159

经典对话一：

男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）

女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。)

经典对话二：

男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）

女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）

经典对话三：

男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）

经典对话四：

男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）

女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）

经典对话五：

男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）

女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）

经典对话六：

男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）

女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）

经典对话七：

男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）

女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum?chum?
Guy:?What do you think??I'm in hell.
Demon:?Hell's not so bad.?We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy:?Sure,?I love to drink.?Love the drinks.
Demon:?Well you're gonna love Mondays then.?On?Mondays that's all we do is drink.?Whiskey,?tequila,?Guinness,?wine coolers,?diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy:?Gee炉hat sounds great.

Demon:?You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!?Love the smoking.
Demon:?Alright!?You're gonna love Tuesdays.?We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.?If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy:?Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon:?I bet you like to gamble.
Guy:?Why?yes?as a matter of fact?I do.?Love the gambling.
Demon:?Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.?Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever...?If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.

Demon:牋 You into drugs?
Guy:?Are you kidding??Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon:?That's right!?Thursday is drug day.?Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack.?Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want烬nd if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares!?O.D.!!
Guy:?Yowza!?I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy:?Uh?no.

Demon:?Ooooh?(grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

Answer 2

Woman：Hello, is that the police station?
Police：Yes.
Woman：Is it true you catch burglars（窃贼）？
Police：Yes, that’s right.
Woman：Could you catch one for me?
Police：Pardon?
Woman：I haven’t got any keys and I don’t know how to get into my house.
妇女：你好，是警察局吗？
警察：是。
妇女：你们真的抓窃贼吗？
警察：是啊，当然。
妇女：你们能替我抓一个吗？
警察：你说什么？
妇女：我的钥匙丢了，不知道该怎么进家门。

更滑稽
A：You look very funny wearing that belt.
B：I would look even funnier if I didn’t wear it.
A：你系上这条皮带显得很滑稽。
B：如果我不系皮带会显得更滑稽。

答非所问
Tom：I was born in California.
Mary：Which part?
Tom：All of me.
汤姆：我出生于加利福尼亚州。
玛丽：哪一部分？
汤姆：全部。

为什么奔跑？
A：Why are all those people running?
B：They are running a race to get a cup.
A：Who will get the cup?
B：The person who wins.
A：Then why are all the others running?
A：为什么那些人拼命奔跑？
B：他们正在赛跑，为了夺得奖杯。
A：谁会夺得奖杯？
B：赢得比赛的那个人。
A：那其他人为什么还要奔跑？

Columbus's Telephone Number
哥伦布的电话号码
Little Mary: I find in my history book there is always such number (1451--1560)after the name Christopher Columbus. Would you please explain why, sir?
Little Rose: I can tell her, sir. It was Columbus's telephone number.
小玛丽：我在历史书中发现，克里斯托·哥伦布这个名字后老是
有(1451-1560)这几个数字，老师，请您给解释一下好吗？
小罗斯：老师，我能告诉她。那是哥伦布的电话号码。