Question

求雅思作文批改。这样的作文大概能有几分？题目选的是剑7 test 2的写作部分。

task 1
The consumption of meat, which comprises fish, beef, chicken and lamb by each person per week between 1979 and 2004 in a European country is given by this graph.

Beef, used to make up of the main part of people’s diet in 1979, although lamb and chicken also played an large section, with about 150 grams each person per week respectively, are still much less than that of beef’s some 220 grams. During the 25 years later, the pair had experienced an obvious fall on people’s weekly eating by 100 grams. Conversely ,an approximate amount of consumption on chicken is illustrated as a rise which individual consumed around 250 grams per week in 2004, 2 times the beef, which acted the second large part of meat diet. Comparing to the large changes in the 3 above, the weight of fish each people had during this 25 years period kept an almost uniformly constant trend, only with about 20 grams of fluctuation.

Overall the graph suggests that chicken these years has been the main part of peope’s diet of meat, in which lamb, beef and fish are still important sections.

task 2
To be more positive, law has achieved its almost full of justice and universalization step by step in most civil societies since modern times, which lead to the fact that nowadays almost all events in every public circumstance are to be progressed in accordance with its details. What’s more, respected position of lawyers has been given by people. However some aspects of law’s carrying on are still contentious, one of them is, shall the judges take the various circumstances and motivations of the guilty into account when the punishment is decided?

Some people believe that in order to ensure the glory and status of the law, there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime, while I condemn it . I think it has something to do with the matter of what the purpose of the law was defined and set by the ancient wise. Law is admired and respected not only for the lessons it gives to crime, but also for its function of persuading people to be good. Excessively emphasizing on its cold and cruel aspects can build an impression of being violent in people’s mind. So I support the converse argument that the circumstances and motivations of an individual crime should be considered by judges in the court. Rather , what we should think about now, is the possibility and the degree of taking this idea into practice in each different case.

To me, consideration of what happened behind the crime itself is possible in certain degree but also difficult. It depends on layers’ and judges’ very careful and hard works. Additionally , law of course still calls for improvement which makes it more rigorous by the legislature.

最好纠正出错误，给出建议。谢谢了

Answer 1

建议你到新东方批改网上提交，是专业的外教批改，对你考试更有帮助，可以评分，但是要花钱。

Answer 2

垃圾成这样，还拿出来

Answer 3

5分