求大神批改雅思10 test3大作文谢谢
Because of the development of productivity and transport, the same products can be produced and delivered in almost every country. People now can own what they can only buy in other countries in the past which is much more convenient. The cost and time will be saved because they can just go to the local supermarket to purchase what they need instead of going abroad. It can also be an innovative way for people to experience other countries’ cultures without going there as requirements for traveling abroad are usually hard to meet.
Not only for customers, but it is also necessary and positive for companies to sell their products abroad. Nowadays, the influence of companies usually depends on the extent of their products cover. Companies only sell to their native customers are commonly uncompetitive compared to the international companies whose products cover global areas. In the long-term sight, companies merely focusing on local buyers may not survive in the future market because of economic globalization.
Some opponents will question that the diversification of different countries will be negatively affected by the same products sold worldwide. The features of diverse countries will disappear gradually. However, many companies will specially produce their products to fit the habits of their foreign customers. The difference between cultures can be noticed from slightly different designs aimed at different countries. It can also improve the images of companies because of their understanding and considering thoughts.
In conclusion, being able to buy the same products anywhere worldwide is a positive development due to its influence on both customers and companies. 展开
您好，个人认为可以做出以下一些调整：
countries are gradually disappearing because the same products can be
bought anywhere worldwide. Some people consider it affirmatively while
others show negative attitudes. In my opinion, I believe that it is a
positive development.
1）can be bought anywhere worldwide 这里的 worldwide 是副词性（worldwide 也可以作为形容词使用）修饰 bought，而 anywhere 是副词作地点状语，感觉结构上比较奇怪，原文的 in the world 可能更好些 anywhere in the world 中 in the world 是介词短语作地点状语，而 anywhere 起到了强调的作用，要比 anywhere worldwide 更通顺些。
2）consider it affirmatively 中使用了宾补的用法，而宾语补足语是对宾语的补充说明，通常是形容词性的，不是副词性的，所以 consider it affirmative 可能更好，否者 affirmatively 会被看作是修饰谓语动词 consider 但却位于宾语的后面，结构上不对。
3）attitude 作为（态度；看法）是不可数名词。
好的地方：文章用了 more similar，而您用了 difference disappearing，是一个很不同的但很不错的反义表达用法。但需要注意的是 more similar 不同等于 the same，而 difference disappear（消失）等同于 the same，但两种表达方式之间的程度差距是有的，感觉 disappear 改成 diminish（缩小）可以保留一些差距，或是用 becoming marginal（变成微不足道）也可以的。
第二段落：Because of the
development of productivity and transport, the same products can be
produced and delivered in almost every country. People now can own what
they can only buy in other countries in the past which is much more
convenient. The cost and time will be saved because they can just go to
the local supermarket to purchase what they need instead of going
abroad. It can also be an innovative way for people to experience other
countries’ cultures without going there as requirements for traveling
abroad are usually hard to meet.
1）the development in productivity and transport 可能更好些，这里的 productivity 通常翻译为（生产率；生产力），可以考虑改成 manufacturing and transport，因为是（制造业）和（运输业）的发达导致……，而不是（生产力）导致……。
2）... can be produced and delivered to almost every country. 这里用 to。
3）People now can own what they can only buy in othr countries in the past ... 改成 People can now own what they could only buy ....。
4）The cost and time can be saved ... 还可以考虑改成 The costs in time can be saved ...；原文 cost 是（价格），也即是（价格和时间）（可以被）省下，will be saved 用了一般将来时表示将来某个时间可以省，但不是现在，不恰当；The costs in traveling and time can be saved（这里的 costs 指的是成本，也就是旅行和时间成本可以被省下来）。local supermarket 改成 local shops 可能更好，因为 supermarket 通常仅限于购买（生活用品），但比如瑞士表，车子等等是无法在（超市）买得到的。.... requirements for traveling abroad 中的 requirements 通常会被认为是（必须的）也就是比如护照、签证等等的硬性规定；但其他条件比如时间、金钱、身体状况等等无法从 requirements 中体现出来，可以考虑 prerequisites（前提条件，必须预先具备）可能涵盖范围更多些。
第三段落：Not only for customers,
but it is also necessary and positive for companies to sell their
products abroad. Nowadays, the influence of companies usually depends on
the extent of their products cover. Companies only sell to their native
customers are commonly uncompetitive compared to the international
companies whose products cover global areas. In the long-term sight,
companies merely focusing on local buyers may not survive in the future
market because of economic globalization.
1）customers（顾客）改成 consumers（消费者）可能更好些；not only ... but also ... 是关联连词，通常关联的部分是并列结构，可以考虑改成 Not only is it beneficial and positive for consumers to buy foreign goods locally, but for companies to sell their domestic products internationally as well. 用了3个并列结构（1）for consumers vs for companies（2）to buy foreign goods vs. to sell domestic products（3）locally vs. internationally.
2）.... on the extent of their products cover 结构和语义上有问题，可以考虑改成 on the extent of the retail coverage of their products（产品零售覆盖的延伸）
3）Companies only sell to their native customers are commonly uncompetitive compred to the international companies whose products cover global areas. 句子结构和语义上有问题，可以改成 Companies selling only to their local customers are generally uncompetitive compared to companies whose products cover global territories.（主句是 companies are uncompetitive，其余的都是修饰作用）
4）In the long-term sight,
companies merely focusing on local buyers may not survive in the future
market because of economic globalization. 这里的 sight 是多余的而且导致混淆了，merely 的位置是错误的；改成：In the long-term, companies focusing merly on local buyers may not survive well in the future markt due to the inevitable economic globalization.（添加了 well 和 he inevitable）
第四段落：Some opponents will
question that the diversification of different countries will be
negatively affected by the same products sold worldwide. The features of
diverse countries will disappear gradually. However, many companies
will specially produce their products to fit the habits of their foreign
customers. The difference between cultures can be noticed from slightly
different designs aimed at different countries. It can also improve the
images of companies because of their understanding and considering
thoughts.
1）... that the diversification of different countris ... 改成 that the uniqueness of different cultures ...；（不同文化的独一无二性质）要好过（不同国家的多样化）
2）features 译为（特征）时，通常指的是显而易见的外在形状的特征，使用 characteristics 作为（特征）可能比较符合文章的含义。.... will disappear gradually. 改成 ... will disppear eventually。这里 eventually 有种最终寻找不到，只是时间问题，强调的是最终的结果，和 disappear 有强调的含义；gradually 强调的是过程，不是最终的结果，语义比较弱一些。
3）.... will specially produce their products to fit the habits of their foreign customers. 改成 have custom tailored (特制定做) their products to suit the habits of their international customers. 需要把 foreign 改成 international，因为 foreign customers 可以看做是本地的外国顾客，也就是生活在本地的外国人，而 international customers 就基本上是生活在国外的其他外国人。
4）The difference between cultures can be noticed from ..... 这里的 noticed 可以考虑改成 realized 或是 kept 或是 retained（保留）可能更好些。
第五段落：In conclusion, being able
to buy the same products anywhere worldwide is a positive development
due to its influence on both customers and companies.
1）还是 worldwide 的用法，读起来比较不顺。
2）on both the consumers and companies.
您的结尾和文章的要求有点出入：
文章的要求是：Do you think this is a positive or negative development that countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. 也就是文章问的是（国家变得越来越相同是好的还是不好的发展方向。）问的是导致人们可以在全世界任何地方都买到同样产品这个结果的原因，问的是原因是好的还是坏的。
而您的结尾是 ... being able to buy the same products anywhere worldwide is a positive development due to its influence on both customers and companies. （能在全世界任何地方买到同样的产品是一个好的发展，归功于在顾客和公司的影响上。您把结果，也就是可以在全世界任何地方买到通常的产品的这个结果作为文章的发展方向了。）显然和文章的本意是不一样的。也就是您最终证明的结果并不是文章要求您需要证明的，有答非所问，会被认为是离题的，也就是您把原因和结果反过来了。
撇开离题这个方面，文章本身的结构是不错的，达到了雅思一定的要求。尽管一些句子还可以再简化，也就是从句有点多了，可以适当的把从句改成短语，文章的逻辑思维和铺垫层次是不错的。选词方面还可以再加强些，也就是有更好的词汇可以表达更清晰的语义。
希望我的点评可以帮到您。
