Question

老师这是我的雅思大作文 刚才那个地方打不了这么多字 求指点！多谢老师

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about distanse-learing programs. However, whether it can bring more advantages than face-to-face teaching is a controversial issue. From where I stand, I tend to agree with the view that learning at home can bring almost all the merits of learning in class.
It is obvious that colleges and universities, serve as knowledge providers, can be more efficient an effective by evolving and employing distance-learning system which enables tutors monitor and teach vastly more students, If academic institutions still insist their traditional teaching method which can not adapt to modern society well, they could not keep pace with the fast-paced development of modern science. So innovative distance-learning programs which cover most benefits of attending classes are supposed to be extensively utilized, thereby giving students another vivid approach apart from classes.
Moreover, using post, TV and Internet to study provides more convenience to students, whose time and money is highly restricted by fixed varieties of factors. For example, some of my classmates have bought an online course that they can study depending on their own schedule. What is more, it is economical to buy such course on the Internet. If these course takes the place of classes in universities, not only will teachers relieve their stress, but will students enjoy inexpensive education.
Those who harbor the view that studying in universities have some unique benefits point out that courses designed and taught at colleges and universities are more workable, there are, of course, students insist on participating in such classes. However, still, these people are fewer and fewer.
In summary, pros brought by distance-studying are as much as those of attending universities` classes. Meanwhile, the cons of the newly developed learning method cannot be neglected or corrected either. Only by doing this can the programs maintain sustainable development.

Answer 1

写的很好了 看你应该至少大学英语专业的了吧？？ 雅思是个比较formal 的写作 So开头的句子最好不要有。一般雅思写作body段的构思是 intro-comment-example-support-conclusion. 但是到了你这个阶段以后example这一条真心可以省了 说实话我看着你的这个文章中间那个For example有点儿难受。雅思写作没人去关心你的example是什么。最主要的是support要多。 再就是其实我建议你多在开头下点功夫。从你的两个body段的开头来看你的文笔还是很好的。 那么把这个文笔用在开头段，介绍一下当前局势我觉得会更好。比如说一些什么with the education popularized, numerous individuals swarmed into schoools, anticipating obtaining more advanced knowledge. However, the apparence of distance learning triggers interests among most of these people; myriads of individuals tend to take certain academic curriculum online instead of studying in schools...........这样也许会让考官眼前一亮的

Answer 2

有些语法错误，比如第二段serve应为serving；第三段倒数第二段course应加复数而最后一行not only后面要倒装，but后就不必倒装；第四段there are 应另起一句；最后一段第一行much应该为many.
整体论述与用词都比较平稳，算不得出彩，得分应在5.5-6之间，算是中等分数，雅思写作与口语两项一向不易得高分
仅供参考~

Answer 3

我觉得你的雅思作文应专业教师的评价，在网上人们可以轻松地查看，它可能会产生误导。
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思维词汇6分简洁的课程，雅思阅读7分冲刺过程中，雅思听力冲刺课程，雅思7分冲刺课程，雅思听力6.5密集课程，剑桥雅思真题阅读（3,4,5）讲座雅思面试的作战指导。
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Answer 4

　　我感觉您的雅思作文应该有专业的老师来做点评，在网上什么人都可以随便点评，很可能产生误导。
　　新航道网校（http://www.en51.com/?seobd）6分到7分之间的写作课程，是新航道有“雅思之父”之称的胡敏老师带领的“雅思梦之队“录制的雅思视频课程。全天专业老师提供在线答疑。
　　课程包括：胡敏雅思大课堂 、雅思语音语调课程 、雅思阅读6分精讲课程 、雅思口语6分精讲课程 、雅思听力6分精讲课程 、雅思阅读6.5分强化课程 、雅思口语6.5分强化课程 、雅思写作6分精讲课程 、雅思写作6.5分强化课程 、雅思口语必考话题精讲、雅思写作7分冲刺课程 、雅思语法6分精讲课程 、雅
思词汇6分精讲课程 、雅思阅读7分冲刺课程 、雅思听力7分冲刺课程 、雅思口语7分冲刺课程 、雅思听力6.5分强化课程、剑桥雅思真题阅读(3,4,5)大讲堂 、雅思面试官实战指导。
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Answer 5

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