Question

英语强人，快来帮忙啊！追分！急！！谢谢！！

下面几个句子什么意思？有错误吗？要怎样修改比较好呢？
1）At the beginning of the first semester as a freshman, I made a lot of preparations in order to will a success in an English speech contest. （will a success对吗？）
2）I was so sad that I even thought god was unfair in that he abandoned a diligent girl and let her be reduced to a failure.（I was so sad that I even thought god was unfair in that I worked so haad but I was a failure.这两句哪句好？用in that在这合适吗？because怎么样？)
3） But for acquiring(getting) the chance to study in Japan, she determined to overcome this weak point. 用acquiring好还是getting好？
4）在平时，用at ordinary times 行吗？
5）我觉得这段话有点别扭，怎么改好呢？We are always being taught to be successful people, but we pay too much attention to the result of success and ignore the process to strive for it. Once facing failure, we belittle ourselves easily and don’t want to look for the reason.
6）这段话合适吗？怎么改？ Even though I haven’t won any prize so far, I still think I am a successful freshman because the process of striving for success is with confidence and willpower, which will help me succeed one day.

先谢了啊！！！

Answer 1

您好

1."will a success"没有这个用法的,"made a lot of preparations"用的也不太自然, 这个句子读起来也有些别扭啊....可以做这样的修改:
At the beginning of the first semester ,as a freshman, I prepared a lot in order to win the success in an English speech contest.

2.这个句子也存在一些问题,一开始的"so...that..."和随后的"even "在语意上有所重复,"reduced to "是"使....处于"和"let sb. be..."(任...去...)也有一些重复的地方,其实"reduced to"直接用"in"代就好
"in that"的问题,其实在这里可以再用一次"so that "的句型.还有"god"前面要加"the".修改为
I was so sad that I thought the god was so unfair that he abandoned a diligent girl and let her be in a failure

3.用getting比较好

4.at ordinary times 这个我不知道可不可以,但是感觉很别扭,其实可以用"daily"直接跟在句尾,就可以表示"平时"

5.修改了几处
We have always being taught to be successful people.However, we pay too much attention to the result of success and ignore the process of striving. Once facing failure, we belittle ourselves easily but don’t want to look for the reason.

6.这个也修改了几处
Even though I haven’t won any prize so far, I still think I am a successful freshman because my process of striving is full of confidence and willpower, which will help me succeed one day.

希望能对您有所帮助

我想给您的作文一些建议,通过上面的文章,我能发现您是一个愿意将自己所掌握的词语,短语和句型全部摆出来的学生,这点是很好的.而且无可挑剔.但是我想说的是,其实有一些复杂的句式或是词语并不是那么好用,反而是一些很平常的词语在表达起意思来更为传神.希望您能把握好这样一个平衡点.推荐您读一些英文的读物,不要把眼光只锁定在课本上.语言这个东西可以去慢慢揣摩的.