Question

托福TPO1的综合作文，求批改

批改一下。 1 细节 2 point出来了没 3 格式上可以吗？
In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the point of the reading passage that four-day workweek has a beneficial effect on the country , companies and individuals. The professor claims that the new policy have no effect at all.
First , the reading passage shows that the new policy will increase profits and efficiency through reduction of errors and so on , whereas the professor holds that the new policy will force the companies to spend more . To make new employees suitable for the company , the company will provide training ,medical benefits , office space and more computer which will cost so much money .
Second , the professor have a different view on the reading passage that following the new policy , there are more jobs to provide which will decrease the unemployment rates. The professor argues that the companies might ask their employees to work overtime or do the same amount of work in the four-day work time . In this state ,no extra jobs could be provided .
Third , the reading passage indicates that less work time and more leisure time will improve the quality of employees’ life . On the contrary , the professor suggests that less work time will make them have less chance to promote and could be the first one to be dismissed in the economy crisis. Virtually , less work time can not improve quality of their life .

Answer 1

楼主写的不错，分论点都阐述得比较清晰~~
关于格式，其实有好几种英文论文的标准格式。我一直采用段与段之间空一行，段首定格写。建议楼主每段结束后可以空一行再起新的一段，这样看起来比较舒服~~
综合写作其实主要是一个套路，掌握方法后并不难，考试中将lecture 的三个点听清楚就没有问题了，然后就是模板了。。。
建议楼主在达到这个程度后可以将复习中心转移到独立写作或其他部分。
祝楼主能取得理想的成绩~~

Answer 2

TPO小站有专门的老师批改、交流，去看看叭