英语!英语作文问题.这是暑假作业,我写了几篇.希望大家能帮我指导与修改一下
3个回答
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独怜海棠幽我心:今将上次答案又做了些许修改,供你参考:
回答:
首先应该肯定的是,你的两篇英语作文写得都很好!能够把自己的意思表达得准确而又清楚,用词较准确,标点符号也很规范,打字也很认真。看出来你是一个很认真,具有一丝不苟的学习精神的好学生。现将你信中有点疑问的几处地方列出来,并给出修改意见,谨供你参考,因篇幅关系,未能详细解释。若有疑问,欢迎追问!
另:1)在中级英语的学习中,应注意多用定语从句,可使句子言简意赅;
2)打字时,标点符号应紧跟在该单词之后,而不是在下一个单词之前;
3)平日最好多写此类短文与信件,然后请任课的英语老师给予批改,长此以往,你将会逐步地、更快地提高自己的英语水平!
A.
1)the situation is easy to change if you take my advice
似应改为:which is easy to change if you could take my advice(最好在此处使用非限定性定语从句,使句子更加紧凑);
2)Here are some tips to help you
似应改为:of which here are some for you;
3)to increase opportunities to communicate with others
似应改为:to increase the opportunities to communicate(exchange) with each other;
4)learn to listen to other people's views
似应改为:learn to listen to the views of the others;
5)take your loneliness far away
似应改为:drive your loneliness away;
6)activities can make your life more interesting and colorful
似应改为:which could bring you more interesting and more colorful life!
7)OK. Don't worry...
似应改为:Ok, don't worry...
B.
1)Dear headteacher---应改为:Dear Mr./Miss/Ms,
说明:a) headteachers是“中小学的校长,中小学班主任”之意。英美人写信时一般是称呼其姓氏并在姓氏之前加Mr./Miss/Ms,而不是直接称呼为:headteacher;
b)若用headteacher,首字母须大写!
2)...you aren't allowed us...
似应改为:you don't allow us---you aren't allowed us:此处用被动语态是错误的;
3)We know what concerns you and other teachers is the unhealthy websites.
应改为:We know what you and the other teachers concern is the unhealthy websites.
4)useful study resources
似应改为:useful learning materials, 或 useful resources for studies;
5)to watch the news at home and abroad
似应改为:to learn(获悉) the news...
6)so that we broaden horizon---请参考以下内容:
so that we could expand our horizon;
so that we could have the wide vision;
broaden our view sight;
broaden our vision
widen our sight and richen our knowledge 开阔视野,丰富知识
so that it could help us to get wider perspective of the world;
7)as senior high school students
似应改为:as the senior high school students
8)I hope you can take my advice
似应改为:I sincerely hope that you would consider my suggestion;
It is appreciated greatly if you would be kind to consider my suggestion;
(给校长或老师写信,应特别注意,语气要委婉又有礼貌)
回答:
首先应该肯定的是,你的两篇英语作文写得都很好!能够把自己的意思表达得准确而又清楚,用词较准确,标点符号也很规范,打字也很认真。看出来你是一个很认真,具有一丝不苟的学习精神的好学生。现将你信中有点疑问的几处地方列出来,并给出修改意见,谨供你参考,因篇幅关系,未能详细解释。若有疑问,欢迎追问!
另:1)在中级英语的学习中,应注意多用定语从句,可使句子言简意赅;
2)打字时,标点符号应紧跟在该单词之后,而不是在下一个单词之前;
3)平日最好多写此类短文与信件,然后请任课的英语老师给予批改,长此以往,你将会逐步地、更快地提高自己的英语水平!
A.
1)the situation is easy to change if you take my advice
似应改为:which is easy to change if you could take my advice(最好在此处使用非限定性定语从句,使句子更加紧凑);
2)Here are some tips to help you
似应改为:of which here are some for you;
3)to increase opportunities to communicate with others
似应改为:to increase the opportunities to communicate(exchange) with each other;
4)learn to listen to other people's views
似应改为:learn to listen to the views of the others;
5)take your loneliness far away
似应改为:drive your loneliness away;
6)activities can make your life more interesting and colorful
似应改为:which could bring you more interesting and more colorful life!
7)OK. Don't worry...
似应改为:Ok, don't worry...
B.
1)Dear headteacher---应改为:Dear Mr./Miss/Ms,
说明:a) headteachers是“中小学的校长,中小学班主任”之意。英美人写信时一般是称呼其姓氏并在姓氏之前加Mr./Miss/Ms,而不是直接称呼为:headteacher;
b)若用headteacher,首字母须大写!
2)...you aren't allowed us...
似应改为:you don't allow us---you aren't allowed us:此处用被动语态是错误的;
3)We know what concerns you and other teachers is the unhealthy websites.
应改为:We know what you and the other teachers concern is the unhealthy websites.
4)useful study resources
似应改为:useful learning materials, 或 useful resources for studies;
5)to watch the news at home and abroad
似应改为:to learn(获悉) the news...
6)so that we broaden horizon---请参考以下内容:
so that we could expand our horizon;
so that we could have the wide vision;
broaden our view sight;
broaden our vision
widen our sight and richen our knowledge 开阔视野,丰富知识
so that it could help us to get wider perspective of the world;
7)as senior high school students
似应改为:as the senior high school students
8)I hope you can take my advice
似应改为:I sincerely hope that you would consider my suggestion;
It is appreciated greatly if you would be kind to consider my suggestion;
(给校长或老师写信,应特别注意,语气要委婉又有礼貌)
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