Question

英语高手来！！

吖吖 ，俺在赶稿子。

现在写了一部分了，请英语高手来看看有没有语法错误，有没有帮忙可以改进的地方。帮忙改善一下。

分数很多 ，改得好的才给！

Today,I want to talk sth about the earthquake.Since the disaster happened, many friends of my age had lost their family and their houses.I felt very sad when I had known lots of people who had died.There were lots of children even babys be an orphan child.Their parents died in this disaster.Everyone not only Chinese but also foreigners donates money to the worst-hit children.And many foreigners because this earthquake , had known lots of history of Chinese.o I'd like to ask all of my classmates to donate for them.And I wish they can live a happy life in the future.

Answer 1

Today,I want to talk sth about the earthquake.Since the disaster happened, many friends of my age had lost their family and their houses.I felt very sad when I had known lots of people [who删掉] had died.There were lots of children even [拼错应该为babies] [改为became] [an删掉 因为前面是复数] orphan [改为children 理由同an].Their parents died in this disaster.Everyone not only Chinese but also foreigners donate[s删掉] money to the worst-hit children.And many foreigners had known lots of history of Chinese [because...放在后面比较通顺]because[后面是词组 所以用because of] this earthquake ,.so I'd like to ask all of my classmates to donate for them.And I wish they [因为后面是in the future 所以改用will] [用live不恰当 应该改为have] a happy life in the future.

Answer 2

首先我说下你的总体问题是写的太chinglish(中国式英语）了。
And many foreigners because this earthquake ，这种句型就就是典型的chinglish哈。
I felt very sad when I had known lots of people who had died. WHO是肯定要删掉的。
baby的复数有问题。
There were lots of children even babys be an orphan child.Their parents died in this disaster。既然都成了孤儿，那么父母肯定去逝了，要吗把Their parents died in this disaster.放在前面，要么直接去掉。
如果你是speech或者duty report建议结尾加上Thank you.
下面是我根据你的大意写的，仅供参考。

Today I would like to talk about some of the earthquake on the matter. After the earthquake, many of the childern as my age lost their home and family.I know that when tens of thousands of people died, I feel very sad. Many children have become orphans, even the babies.Everyone donates money to the worst-hit children, not only Chinese people but also foreigners. At the same time, because of the earthquake,foreigners know China's history and culture somewhat.I warmly call on all our classmates to donate for the people who in disaster areas .And I hope they will have a better future.

Answer 3

(and their houses)可以删去.
或者改成 and their houses had been destroyed
(I had known)改成(I knew)因为这不需要过去完成时态,用一般过去时态就可以了

(And many foreigners because this earthquake)!!这句话严重的
Chinese English
改成(And because of this earthquake ,many foreigners had known.............)

最后一句语意有点重复了..就直接说live happily in the future 就可以了

恩恩.这文章写的不错哦.加油

Answer 4

family改成families,Ifelt very sad when I knew lots of people who were dead.There were lots of children ,even babies to be orphan kids, because their parents died in this disaster.Not only Chinese but also foreigners donate money to the worst-hit children,and because of the frightening earthquake, many foreigners knew about the history of China.Now, I'd like to ask all of my classmates to donate for them who suffered from the disater, and I wish they can live a happier life in the future.
小错误很多，要加油哦！！！！

Answer 5

写的蛮不错的…注意下单词复数形式。baby的复数是babies, ～还有写作文拿不准的句型用简单句写就可以了，保证语法的正确。这是我的看法。祝你英语越来越好…加油…^_^