Question

给我的英语作文找找毛病吧

Great love, great world
What is love? Love is the shoes your mother made for you. Love is the book a stranger picked for you. Love is the land the country offered you. Love is all your life the society gives you. And the great world is made of great love.
Please look the following there scene:
Scene one: A mother was sitting aside her baby, shaking it slowly with a slow song. Looking at her baby, she dreamed that it would be a useful person when he grown-up. Gradually, she went into her own dream beside her baby….
Scene two: An old man slide down when he was climbing the stairs. At that time a stranger woman saw the accident. So she went toward him quickly and got him up. By lucky, the old man was OK. Then they smiled face to face…..
Scene there: In a park, a man walked beside a beautiful lake and a boy followed. Suddenly, the boy shouted: Father, watch out the grass, and don’t harm the green, OK? The man looked back and smiled toward the boy, then he come back to the right path.
Many people said that the society is dark and there are many traps. But I believe the sunshine has existed in all the corners in the world.

Answer 1

从你的文章能够看出来你应该还是个中学生吧。我吧你的文章稍作了修改，你对照看看吧。
Great love, great world
What is love? Love is the shoes your mother make for you. Love is the book a stranger picks up for you. Love is the land the country offer to you. Love is all your life the society gives to you. And the great world is made up of great love.
Please look at the following scenes:
Scene one: A mother was sitting beside
her baby, shaking it slowly with a slow song. Looking at her baby, she dreamed about that he would be a great person when he grew up. Gradually, she went into her own dream beside her baby….
Scene two: An old man slide down when he was climbing the stairs. At that time a woman saw this. So she run to him in a minute to help him. luckily, the old man had nothing serious. Then they both smiled happily.
Scene three: In a park, a man was walking along a beautiful lake with a boy walking after. Suddenly, the boy shouted out: Father, watch out the grass, and keep it still, OK? The man turned back and smiled .Then he walked by another path.
Many people say that the society is dark and there are many traps. But I believe the sunshine is still existing around the world everywhere.要是觉得这修改的还满意，请按下左下角的“采纳”呀，要知道我为了帮你修改都熬夜到现在还没有睡觉呢呵呵。