Question

帮我看一下这段英语短文有语法错误么？谢谢

Yes,unlike south,where it’s so hot in summer,Mudanjiang having a cozy weather.Though so many people think it’s really cold in the winter,but when it coming,the snowing was a very beautiful scene.What’s more,people can make a snowman with friend and family in the outside and feel very happy, meanwhile,government will building a snow castle where tourist and resident can coming to play together,which was made all by ice,and at night ,the colorful light which put in the ice will all light up,you will feel living in fairy tales world.At last I want to say,Mudanjiang don’t have so much pressure to live,and when you get in here ,you will feel relax and comfortable,you can also don’t worry about the natural disasters in here.If you want to some tourist spot,Jingpo Lack and so many beautiful scene is all the good choice.
哪里读着不通顺也帮忙改一下，谢谢

Answer 1

Yes,unlike south,where is(非限定性定语从句) so hot in summer,Mudanjiang has a cozy weather.Though so many people think it’s really cold in the winter, when it comes (though和but不能同时用，一句话内只能用一个，去掉哪一个都可以）,the snow is(用一般现在时就可以) very beautiful .What’s more,people can make a snowman with friends(朋友应用复数形式，根据语义可知） and family outside（outside为副词，表示在外面，前面不用介词） and will feel very happy, meanwhile,government will build（will后加动词余瞎原形中毁冲） a snow castle that tourist and resident can come(can情态动词，后加动词原形） here and play together（“来这玩”是汉语式的英语，最好改成这样，用and连接两个并列短语),which is all made of ice(be made of由...制作) .And at night ,the colorful light which puts on the ice will all be lit up(用被动形式),you will feel living in fairy tales world.At last I want to say,Mudanjiang doesn’t(第三人称单数） have too much pressure to live in,and when you get here （here是副词，前面不用介词）,you will feel relaxful(relax是动词，此处应为形容词） and comfortable,you can don’t worry about the natural disasters here either （否定句中的 ”也“ 用either）.If you want to see some scenic spots,Jingpo Lack and so many beautiful scenes are (都用复数形式）all the good choice.
大概就改这样了，有一卖歼些可能也不太对，参考着来吧

Answer 2

艾玛 这历慎销得好肢游好改改啊 这 Yes,unlike south that is so hot in summer.Mudanjiang having a cozy weather.Though so many people think it’s really cold in the winter, snowing is such a beautiful scene.
What’s more,people can make a snowman with friend and family in the outside and feel very happy.In winter,government will building a snow castle At last, I want to say,Mudanjiang don’孝猜t have so much pressures to live in,and you will feel relax and comfortable