Question

帮忙改1雅思作文．谢谢拉～～～

Some people think schools should only teach students academic knowledge. Others think they should teach students to judge what is right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

When we discuss school’s responsibility, people’s attitudes vary from one to another. Some people hold the view that school should focus on students’ academic studies while others embrace that it is imperative for schools to teach students to distinguish right and wrong. To my mind, the following statements should be taken into consideration.

First of all, one primary criterion for evaluating schools as qualified or unqualified ones is whether teachers can effectively instill academic knowledge to students. After all, the better performance in academic studies the students achieve, the higher rank and reputation the school possess. Apart from this, Schools can assist students to achieve their goals by laying solid foundations in academic aspects for future education.

Second, a school’s obligation is not confined to passing on academic knowledge to the students, enlightening them about how to judge what is right and wrong is supposed to be another crucial duty for a school. It is unavoidable that one day the students will step out of school and integrate themselves into the complex society, in which they will confront with tough tasks rather than easy academic problems. In order to be better prepared and adapt to the society, students should be implanted suggestive advices on how to distinguish good from bad at schools where teachers share or discuss with their students their viewpoints towards different phenomena in society.

However, schools’ influence on instructing and molding students’ personality and behavior may not as obvious as helping students make progresses in academic study because students’ moral development are nurtured by families, friends, colleges, and many other things in the complex society.

Apparently, schools should not only teach students about academic studies, but also try to mould their characteristic and moral image. Meanwhile, due to the latter respect seems limited and not remarkable, the society as a whole is considered to work together to ensure the students’ overall development.

Answer 1

Some people think schools should only teach students academic knowledge. Others think they should teach students to judge what is right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

When we discuss school’s responsibility, people’s attitudes vary /considerably 后面删除from one to another. Some people hold the view that school should focus on students’ academic studies/performances while others embrace that it is imperative/这个词强调的是急需而要做的急,这里可以用necessary for schools to teach students to distinguish right and/from wrong. (To my mind, the following statements should be taken into consideration.)非常中式的句子,按你的原意可改为 education in schools will serve the community better with a comprehensive way of teaching, namely, to weigh up academic performances and moral standards on the same basis.

First of all, one/the primary/a main criterion for evaluating schools (as qualified or unqualified ones)删 is whether teachers can/are able to effectively instill academic knowledge to/into/直接用teach最好 students. After all, the better /academic performance/s (in academic studies )删 the students achieve, the higher rank and reputation the school possess. Apart from this, Schools can assist students to achieve their goals by laying solid foundations (in academic aspects)删 for future/further education.

Second, a school’s obligation is not confined to passing on academic knowledge to the students,/. Enlightening them about how to judge what is right and wrong is supposed/considered to be another crucial duty for a school. It is unavoidable that one day the/删 students will step out of school and be integrate/d themselves/删 into the complex society, in which they will /be confront/ed with tough tasks rather than easy academic problems/questions. In order to be better prepared and adapt/ed to the society, students should be implanted suggestive/错用这个词,这是我在百度上第二次看到了,这个词用作定语时是暗示SEX的,而不是建议的意思,可改为constructive advices/这个词不可数,去掉s on how to distinguish good from bad/evil at schools/这个介词短语要去掉s where teachers share or discuss with their students their viewpoints towards different phenomena in /the前面用了定冠词,这里要一致 society.

However, schools’ influence on instructing and molding students’ personality/ies and behavior/s may not as obvious as helping students /to 这个to加不加主要看后面的事主要是谁做,主格做就不加make progresses/删es,这个不可数 in academic study/performances because students’ moral development are nurtured by families, friends, colleges/这个也是一种school建议去掉, and many other things in the complex society.

Apparently, schools should not only teach students /about academic studies/knowledge, but /should also try to mould/这个美式,考雅思最好英式mold their characteristic/characters and moral image/删除character就有这个意思,且moral与image搭配不妥. (Meanwhile, due to the latter respect seems limited and not remarkable)Chinglish 改写为in addition to that, the society as a whole is considered/preferable to work/working together to ensure/secure the/删 students’ overall development.

大概5分左右.如果能注意下语法小细节,如主谓一致,冠词介词用法,再在措辞词语搭配方面下点功夫,上6分还是很有可能的.

如果还有疑问,百度hi我,希望对你有帮助.

Answer 2

整体还行，所以只改了部分语法和表达。

When we discuss schools' responsibilities, people’s attitudes vary from one to another. Some people hold the view that school should just focus on students’ academic studies, while others believe that it is imperative for schools to teach students how to make a clear distinction between right and wrong. As far as I am concerned, the following statements should be taken into consideration.

First of all, one primary criterion for evaluating schools as qualified or unqualified ones is whether teachers can effectively impart academic knowledge to students. After all, the better performance in academic studies the students achieve, the higher rank and reputation the schools will have. Apart from this, Schools can help students achieve their goals by laying solid foundations in the area of learning for future education.
Secondly, a school’s obligation is not confined to imparting academic knowledge to students, and enlightening them of how to judge what is right and what is wrong should be another crucial responsibility for a school. It is inevitable that one day the students will get out of school and adapt themselves into the complex society, in which they will be confront with tough tasks rather than simple academic problems. In order to be better prepared, students should have constructive suggetsions on how to distinguish good from bad at schools where teachers share and discuss with their students their viewpoints towards different phenomena in society.

However, the schools’ influence on instructing and molding students’ personality and behavior may not be as obvious as helping students make progress in academic studies because students’ moral development is fostered through family, friends, colleges, and many other factors.

It is true that schools should not only teach students academic knoledge, but also make endeavor to mould their personality and moral images in life. Morever, the society as a whole should work together to ensure students’ overall development.

Answer 3

Some people think that schools should only teach students academic knowledge. Some people think that they should teach students to judge what is right and wrong. Discuss both views and give their views. When we discussed the responsibility of schools, people's attitudes vary from one to another. Some people believe that schools should be the focus of their academic studies, while others embrace, it is imperative for schools to teach students right from wrong. In my opinion, the following statements should be taken into account. First, a failure of the primary standards or conformity assessment school teachers can effectively impart academic knowledge to students. After all, the students achieved higher levels of academic research and school reputation has better performance. In addition, schools can help students achieve their educational goals and the right. Based on solid academic foundations for the next two schools is not limited to transfer the responsibility of the students academic knowledge, inspiration and how they judge what is wrong is a school that should be another important task. It is inevitable that one day the students out of school, into their complex social, they will face, rather than simply academic questions difficult task. In order to better prepare and adapt to society, students should be embedded in society imply recommendation on how to distinguish a good sign of poor school teachers from sharing or discussing their different views of students. However, school students to guide and shape the personality and behavior may not be significant help to students in the family's progress, because students in the academic study of ideological and moral construction is nurture, friends, schools, and many other things, complex society. Obviously, schools should not only teach students about academic research, but also try to shape the character and moral image. Also, because the latter seems to be limited, but not significant, the entire community to be seen to work together to ensure overall development of students.
我不知道我的答案是否正确,不过我已经尽力了!^_^