Question

求一个英语笑话

要好笑！是课前演讲要用的，所以一定要让人笑出声来。最好不要太难。
初中水平即可。
不好不给分。

Answer 1

　　Good Points and Bad Points

　　"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

　　"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

　　"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

　　优缺点

　　“这幢房子，”房地产推销商说，“既有优点也有缺点。为了说明我是诚实的，我将告诉你们它的缺点 - 往南面一个街区是一家化工厂，往北面一个街区是一家屠宰场。”

　　“那么它的长处呢？”预备购买房子的人问道。

　　“它的好处，”代理商说道，“就是，你总能分清风是从哪边吹过来的。”

　　Early Shopper

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

　　采购过早

　　那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。

　　“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

　　“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”

　　在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

Answer 2

Good Points and Bad Points

"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

优缺点

“这幢房子，”房地产推销商说，“既有优点也有缺点。为了说明我是诚实的，我将告诉你们它的缺点 - 往南面一个街区是一家化工厂，往北面一个街区是一家屠宰场。”

“那么它的长处呢？”预备购买房子的人问道。

“它的好处，”代理商说道，“就是，你总能分清风是从哪边吹过来的。”

Answer 3

Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work，” said the other．

“What is your work？”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
译文：（自己简单翻译）
你知道我是干什么的吗？
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。
“你是干什么的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。
“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”

Answer 4

好吧 先说中文意思啊 两辆车迎面冲来 相碰了 结果一辆车报废了 一辆车逃逸了 接着啊 one car come one car go two car 'pengpeng' one car die one car go 自己感觉还有点意思 初中也适合啊