Question

帮我检查下这段英语短文有没有语法或者用词错误~~

在我看来，大学生活比高中生活好。第一，我可以掌握自己的生活，什么时候睡觉，什么时候新来，什么时候学习。在大学里有许多社团，我加入其中一个，这使我结交到了很多的好友。第二，当我再图书馆学习时，我能看见许多人都在认真学习。这使我感觉很充实。第三，这是最重要的，我可以恋爱了，虽然到现在还没有女友，不过我会努力的。这三点让我体会到了真正的充实的大学的生活。现在所有的课程我都十分的喜欢，大学的课程给我了充分的空间发挥自己的能力，我能看自己的成果，增强自己的信心。总之，大学生活比高中生活好。
In my opinion,college life is better than high school life .First, I can control of your own life, when sleeping, when new, when learning. There are many societies in college, I join one of these, that I make a lot of friends. Second, when I'll library when studying, I can see many people are conscientiously study. This makes me feel very substantial. Third, it is the most important, I can be in love, though there is no girlfriend, but I'll do my best. These three lets me realize true enrichment of university life. Now all the courses I was like, university courses to give me sufficient space to use my ability, I can see my achievements, strengthen their confidence. In conclusion,college life is better than high school life.

Answer 1

以下是矫正过的，不含语法错误的翻译：
In my opinion, college life is better than high school life. First of all, I can control my own life--when to sleep, when to wake wake up, and when to study. There are many clubs in college. I joined one of them, and made many friends as a result. Second of all, when I'm studying in the library, I can see that a lot of other people are also studying studiously. This makes me feel fulfilled. Third of all, and this is the most important, I can date. Even though up till now I still don't have a girlfriend, but I will work on it. These three points allowed me to experience a real, busy college life. I like all my classes now very much. College classes gave me sufficient room to utilize my abilities. I can see my achievements, and strengthen my confidence. All in all, college life is better than high school life.

原文中的错误：

1. "First...Second...Third" 应该改成 "first of all...second of all...third of all..."，这样语感比较顺。

2. "I can control of your own life" 句子中主语是第一人称，所以后面的部分必须也是第一人称，而且这里"control" 后面不用加 "of".

3. "when sleeping, when new, when learning" 要改成 "when to sleep, when to wake up, when to study"，因为你要表现的是什么时候去做什么什么事。这里‘学习’应该用 study，因为learn一般是指学习一样新的东西。因为"when to sleep, when to wake up, when to study" 属于怎么掌握自己生活的例子，所以要用"--" 表示，不可单独拿出来当成一句话。

4. 社团要翻译成"club"，"society" 是指规模非常大，很正式的团体。

你的原翻译错误非常多，我就不一一给你解释了，你看一下我给你的翻译，如果有问题的话可以pm我。

4.

Answer 2

In my opinion,college life is better than high school life .First, I can (take) control of your own life, when (to sleep ), when (to get up), when(to learn). There are many societies in college, I join one of (them), (so)that I (can)make a lot of friends. (Secondly), when (I'm studying in the library ) , I can see many people (studying conscientiously ),(which) makes me (very substantial). (Thirdly), the most important, I can be in love, though (I haven't got a )girlfriend, but I'll do my best.
Above reasons let me realize (how rich the life in university is ). Now (I likeall the courses ）, （which） give me sufficient space to use my ability, I can see my achievements, and strengthen (my) confidence. In conclusion,college life is better than high school life.