Question

英语作文 纠错 有高级词汇能用上的也帮忙说下

The Spring Festival is coming. Our class have had a discussion about what to do during the holiday. Diffecent people have different ideas.
The girs think we should stay at home. Because we should relax ourselves and the homes are comfortable and easily.Finaly the fare is low. The boys said that we should travel some places. If we do that we will not only increase our knowledge but also broaden the horizons.
However the boys said the girls' idea is not great , because we can't go through the naturl by ourselves .And the grils said the boys' idea is too expensive and is not easy to get.
Personly ,I'd like to stay at home . Because the weather is so bad . I'm afraid of the cold wind . I think the home is the best place to stay . I can do something , like doing homework , watching TV , drawing...

Answer 1

由于没有看到LZ写作文的对应题目，所以对写作要点并不是十分清楚，以下是我根据LZ的作文，通过句子修改以后得到的结果，希望没有遗漏作文的要求。
As the Spring Festival is at the corner,a lengthy and full discussion about what to do during the holiday is devoted in our class.The ideas vary.
Girls thought staying at home a smart chioce.They suggested no other places can be more comfortable and better to relax than home,However,the final fate was low.Because of the difference in characteristic,boys preferred to travel some places of interest,by which we would not only increase our knowledge but also broaden our horizons.
However,both sides had its own disadvantage.Boys didn't think highly of girls' idea,considering that we could't go through the naturl by ourselves.And the boy's idea was against owing to the high costs and the difficulty .
Personally,I'll choose the girl's idea.其实个人感觉高中的作文往往是半开放式的，这篇作文也一样。前面对作文要求的称述可以体现学生的语法，词汇和句法。但是一般出亮点的地方时自己的观点称述，私以为LZ对这一段太简单了，理由也不是很合适，可以在斟酌下，罗列2-3条理由，并加上总结。
某狐也是刚从高三过来，感觉高中作文还是比较重视长句的运用的，，LZ大可以将短句用关联词或者名词性从句来串联，做到长短句结合会好很多。

Answer 2

The Spring Festival is coming. Our class have had a discussion about what to do during the holiday. Diffecent people have different ideas.
The girs think we should stay at home. Because we should relax ourselves and the homes are comfortable and COZY.FinalLy, the fare is low. The boys said that we should travel some places. If we do that we will not only increase our knowledge but also broaden the horizon.
However the boys said the girls' idea WAS not great , because we COULDN;T go through the naturAl by ourselves .And the grils said the boys' idea WAS too expensive and WAS not easy to PUT INTO PRACTICE.
PersonlLy ,I'd like to stay at home . Because the weather is so bad . I'm afraid of the cold wind . I think the home is the best place to stay . I can do something , like doing homework , watching TV , drawing...

Answer 3

1 Because we should relax ourselves and the homes are comfortable and easily改为
Because we should relax ourselves and our homes are comfortable and easy.这里用形容词即可
2 Finaly the fare is low.改为：
And it is costless.而这么做，花费也很小。
3 The boys said that we should travel some places.改为：take some travels——更简洁
4 If we do that we will not only increase our knowledge but also broaden the horizons.改为：
By doing that ....broaden our vision开阔眼界——这个用法比较普遍；句子结构比较清析
5 However the boys said the girls' idea is not great , because we can't go through the naturl by ourselves .And the grils said the boys' idea is too expensive and is not easy to get.且不论句法，这句话放在这里，上下文的逻辑明显有问题，建议你再斟酌一下。
go through the naturl如果是探索自然的话，应该是explore nature
not easy to get如果是不容易实现的话，应该为not easy to realize
6 Because the weather is so bad . I'm afraid of the cold wind .合并 用and
7 I can do something , like doing homework , watching TV , drawing...改为：
I can do homework,watch TV....你那个结构太罗嗦
8 最后的问题就是时态了，用过去式吧。最后一段到可以保留现在时

Answer 4

时态不一致 要么全现在 要么全过去
过去的事倾向过去式
The girs think we should stay at home and relax ourselves，because the homes are comfortable.Moreover， the expense is low.
we can not only increase our knowledge but also have a great time
broaden the horizons = increase our knowledge