Question

急！高分悬赏！请大牛们检查并修改以下托福作文语句

我要用在托福作文里的，主要检查有没有语法错误，或者怎么表达能更符合美国人的思维习惯，如果能大概评一下分就更好了（当然我指的是单就这些例子或句子而言），马上要考了来不及了，速度改，谢谢！！
1.Doing sports will not only increase people's metabolism but also strengthen their immunity. For instance, in the past, many high schools in my city canceled the PE lessons in order to make students focus all their attention to study. As a result, the number of students who were absent from school due to coming down with a cold increased rapidly, which has a bad influence on both the student’s life and the school’s routines. From this case, the consequence of neglect of health is obviously acknowledged. After restoring physical courses, this situation was just alleviated.
2.Food conditions has been improved a lot.A research said that thirty years ago, 35 percent of the deaths of children worldwide are caused by hunger.However, with the rapid development of agricultural science and cultivation technology, this situation has been well alleviated today.Hunger is no longer a pressing problem facing our world.Since most people do not need to worry about whether they would starve the next meal, an increasing number of them began to focus on the nutritious value of their foods.How much fat contained in their food? How many calories their food possess? How many vitamins they can obtain from their food?They will take all these things into their consideration.The prevalence of some TV programs which introduce information about food nutrition can be a strong evidence for it.
3.Due to the increasingly keen social competition, finding a job has become one of the pressing problem facing the young today.
4.It is bound to provide good education (tourism) resources to the public.
这必定会给公众提供好的教育（旅游）资源
5.It is an excellent way to relax mood and to release stress.
这是放松心情、释放压力的绝佳方式。
6.It can promote the development of some relevant industries.
这可以带动相关产业的发展
7.This will cause an increase in government revenue.
这可以增加政府税收

Answer 1

1.Doing sports will not only increase people's metabolism but also strengthen their immunity. For instance, in the past, many high schools in my city canceled the PE lessons（class or coures） in order to make students focus all their attention to study(若用focus后面加的是on，用attention的话前面固定搭配是pay). As a result, the number of students who were absent from school due to （coming down with a cold可改成illness，这里不要过长） increased rapidly, which has a bad influence on both the student’s life and the school’s routines. From this case, the consequence of neglect of health is（换回was吧，这样文段统一一些，因为你下句又用了过去式 表明句子在例子里） obviously acknowledged. After restoring physical courses, this situation was just alleviated.

2Hunger is no longer a pressing problem facing our world.这句话说得很别扭 food shortage is no longer a urgent problem we are suffering now.可以这样改吧。an increasing number of them began to focus on the nutritious value of their foods.这里的them指代不清 改成people 后面要加focus on some other problems 然后再说问题 不然话连不上 How many（kinds of） vitamins

Answer 2

争吵
就在五年级的一天，我和同学发生了多年没有的争吵。
那一天，我早早的吃完了饭，老师叫我去搬苹果，我迅速的搬完了。我回到教室，累得满头大汗，我慢慢地回到了座位上。很多男生爱惹女生，而我却在教室里安静的看书。今天教室里非常乱，有一位男同学把帽子扣到了那个女生头上，那胖胖的女生摇摇晃晃的站起来说：“是谁干的。”那些同学一开始都指着扣帽子的那个同学，可能他人缘好，一下子手指全指向了我。那个女生气急败坏的向我逼近，走到我身旁狠狠地掐了我一下。我马上就发火了，我站起来理直气壮地说：“关我什么事。”个女生更火了，说：“刚刚不是你干的吗？”那眼睛像辣椒一样盯着我。我无言辩论，紧紧的握住双手，恨不得上去打她个鼻青脸肿，但是我先起来一句话：“好男不跟女斗。”我压着火不打她。我正在犹豫的时候，那女生把我揪了起来。我直接就火了，我们打了起来。我把她推到了对面，她眉毛一皱向我扑来，好像一只母老虎，我们僵持了很久，都没有下手。可恶的是些陷害我的人却在位置上看我们打架，和看戏一样。我看见他们一个个嬉皮笑脸，我顿时火冒三丈，使劲全身力气向那个女生推去，把她推到墙那，墙直叫“哎呦”“哎呦”，她哇的一下大哭起来。我马上松了手，那些男生不敢看我。后来，有些胆小的女生把这件事告诉了老师，老师把我说了一顿，全班女生在办公室外哈哈大笑。
后来，老师又让我向她说“对不起”，我这男生的脸全丢光了。我很后悔，做了这样一件事。后来妈妈告诉我，如果我及时解释原因，就不会发生这样的误会

Answer 3

做运动不仅会增加人的新陈代谢，还能增强免疫力。例如，在过去，许多学校在我市取消体育课，为了使学生集中精力研究。因此，一些学生缺课由于染上感冒迅速增加，其中有一个坏影响的学生的生活和学校的例程。从这种情况下，由于忽视健康，显然承认。后恢复体育课程，这种情况只是缓解。2。食物条件有了很大的提高。研究说，三十年前，百分之35的儿童死亡的原因是饥饿。但是，与快速发展的农业科学种植技术，这种情况已很好地缓解今天。饥饿不再是世界面临的一个迫切的问题。由于大多数人们不需要担心他们是否会饿死的下一顿饭，越来越多的人开始关注食品的营养价值。多少脂肪包含在他们的食物？多少卡路里的食品业吗？多少维生素，他们可以从他们的食物？他们会把这些东西都纳入考虑。一些流行的电视节目，介绍有关营养食品可以是一个强有力的证据，它。3。由于日益激烈的社会竞争，找工作已经成为面临的紧迫问题之一今天的年轻的。总体翻译下来，没有错误的呀，如有错误，他就翻译不出来的，不错~