Question

大家帮我修改一下初三的一篇英语作文吧，挑出语法错误

The death of Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee died on 23:30 the 21st of July in 1973. People mourned the loss of a great Kung Fu star, a great Hollywood star. But people didn’t know the truth until the 1900s.
He was found dead in Queen Elizabeth Hospital Hong Kong suddenly. People had thought he was dead because of illness at that time. But police confirmed that it was a murder later. The murderer is a billionaire in the USA called Hugh Bobby. He asked a famous doctor in Queen Elizabeth Hospital to kill Bruce with a medicine which can cause blood vessels burst called BMN. Hugh killed Bruce because Hugh’s daughter like Bruce, but Bruce don’t like her. When his daughter knew Bruce had married, she killed herself. So Hugh become very angry and killed Bruce Lee.
Hugh wasn’t under arrest because no one knows the truth until he passed away in the 1900s.

Answer 1

the 21st of July in 1973 ==》 July, 21st, 1973就好了，不用全写。
until the 1900s.这句话有点问题，1973就是1900s中的一部分，为啥会有直到1900才知道事实这种说法。“直到”应该是指很久以后的事吧。
He was found dead in Queen Elizabeth Hospital Hong Kong suddenly这句话是他突然被发现死于香港OOXX医院的意思还是他被发现突然死于香港OOXX医院的意思？两个的翻译有点不一样，suddenly可能不能用，位置也不对。
People had thought he was dead because of illness at that time. 主句都是过去完成时了，从句是更早发生的事，应该不会还是过去时啊？两个都变过去时或者都变过完吧。
The murderer is a billionaire in the USA called Hugh Bobby. 既然通篇都是过去时，这里就不要突然冒出来一个现在时。 a billionaire in the USA ==》an American billionaire 会好点，定语太多了，过去分词作定语的那个结构离名词远了点
which can cause 时态一致 can改为could。下一句同样地问题，like改为liked，don't改didn't。这个男的是在女的认识他前结婚的话用had married，认识后才结婚的话用had gotten married应该会好点下一句时态一致become改为became再下一局同理knows改为knew。最后的1990s到底是几几年？怎么看怎么怪。
还有全文里but太多了，可用其他同词性的同义词替换下。
最后我只是把最显眼的错误找出来了，你参考着看看吧。就初三的水平而言写的很不错了，尤其是前半篇，错误相对少的多，后半篇时态的问题一直出现，多注意点吧。

Answer 2

这题目可以百度下，再用易改英语写作辅助软件过一遍，纠错和润色都有用。听说最近要推出模板功能，可以试下。但不知道有没有你要的模板。百度下易改就可以了。。