Question

找个英语好的人帮我看一篇作文，时态帮忙修改下，还有指点下哪里写的不好，谢谢！

找个英语好的人帮我看一篇作文，时态帮忙修改下，还有指点下哪里写的不好，谢谢！Today was still a cold day .everything went badly.I don't think the No.8 high school is suit me .Every time a nervous breakdown pushing me into the abyss ，I took a long time to climb up from there. In spite of all the pains I have been through, I have still fought against my will and forced myself to face those challenges .I treated my study with a responsible attitude,but it seemed unrequited.I believe i can do well on other aspects,so I will continue to fight.

Answer 1

today was 改成today is, still a cold day 改成still freezing 表述会好很多。badly可以改成down，is suit 改成suits, pushing 改成pushes,abyss太夸张了，可以把pushing me into the abyss换成can easily crash me。I took a long time to climb up from there改成it cost a lot of time for me to raise my spirit会好不少。pains 改成pain，i have still fought改成i am still fighting, my will 换成my troubles会更好，forced改成making, I treated my study with a responsible attitude也是个病句_(:з」∠)_I have studied hard and been dealing with these troubles carefuly会比原句要好。最后说一下，前两句什么情况？这篇作文怎么看都不是日记为什么要这样开头→_→直接说最近我的成绩一直不理想找不到原因很苦恼不就好了。第三句也很没有必要，找自身原因的时候为什么要提及自己觉得学校不适合自己，最后一句的用意在哪。。。如果题意重点在努力学习的话就应该照应前文说自己会继续努力，改正自己的不足并相信一定能够成功而不是说自己在别的方面能取得成就。。。说真的，这篇作文缺乏主旨，没有论证，没有举例，基本上是空话，结构不完整除了少数词汇毫无看点，而且这些词汇大多还使用不恰当，除了时态三单和语法也漏洞百出，快去多学学英语吧

追问

就是因为英语不好所以才开始写英语日记的(๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)词汇其实都是百度翻译的，主要是想积累

谢谢你

Answer 2

It's still a cold day today. （既然说了是今天，就用一般现在时）Everything went badly. I don't think I belong to No. 8 High School. (I don't think No. 8 Hight School suits me.) Every time (when) a nervous breakdown pushed me into the abyss, it took me a long time to climb up. (Every time when 引导时间状语从句，when省略) Inspite of all the pains I have been through, I still fight against my will and force myself to face those challenges. I treat my study with a responsible attitude, but it seems unrequited. I believe I can do well on other aspects, so I will keep fighting.

追问

谢谢你！

Answer 3

today is another cold day and everything went badly. i don't think No. 8 high school suits me. Everytime there is a nervous breakdown, i will be pushed into the abyss and it takes a long time for me to climb out (from there). in spite of all the difficulties, i still fight hard and make myself face the challenges. i am very responsible to my study even though it doesn't go well. Since i am doing well in other aspects, i believe i could do well in my (english) study too and i will continue.

追问

谢谢!

Answer 4

is suitable for me

Answer 5

大小写，还有是suit for吧