Question

帮我看看这段话有没有什么错误？

I write the letter for appreciating that you have given a raise to me since this month. I worked in Artech for more than 1 year, and this is my first job after graduating. Actually, I love this job so much, because I am a outgoing girl, and I think I am good at communicating with others. So I have always thought that HR is my best career choice. I have seen many people left from Artech, include our previous boss, our previous recruiting manager, our previous accountant. So I feel very honoured that I am the oldest one in Artech.

Do you remeber what the thing happened on14th March. We continued to receive the call for half an hour, one person called every recruiter for many times, but held 10 seconds and no speaking. So we were very curious, and talked with each others. I mentioned your name at that time"Abhijit don't know what we are doing". I just want to explain that thing. Hope you not misunderstand me.

I can understand you so much, you are our manager, need to take on all the responsiblity of our daily work. and maybe china is also a strange country to you. You must be very tried every day.

So feel free to contact me if you want, I can help you to deal with many things if I could. And I will always support you for the work. Hope we are friends all the time.

In the end, thanks again for the salary hike to me.
那怎么才不算是中国式英语

Answer 1

我把你错了的后，在后面打了个－－>改正在此符号后。
I write the letter for appreciating that you have given a raise to me since this month. I worked in Artech for more than 1 year, and this is my first job after graduating. Actually, I love this job so much, because I am a-->an outgoing girl, and I think I am good at communicating with others. So I have always thought that HR is my best career choice. I have seen many people left-->leave from Artech, include－－>including our previous boss, our previous recruiting manager, -->(and)our previous accountant. So I feel very honoured that I am the oldest one in Artech.

Answer 2

写的很中国英语～

Dear XX,
I want to appreciate the salary raise you gave me last month. I have worked for Artech for more than a year, and this is my first job after graduating. I love this job very much because I am an outgoing girl and I like to communicate with others. I have always thought that HR is my best career choice. I have seen many people left this company. And I feel very honoured to be the oldest(是指老么？) in Artech.

Do you remeber what happened on March 14th ？ We continued to receive anonymous calls for half an hour. This person called every recruiter many times, but only held for ten seconds without speaking anything. So we were very curious, and talked to each others about it. I mentioned that you didn't know what we were doing. I just want to explain that I didn't mean it. I am sorry for it. I hope you don't misunderstand me.

I can totally understand your pressure. You are our manager and need to take all the responsiblities of our daily work. Maybe China is a strange country to you. You must be very tried every day.

I hope you feel free to talk to me if you want to. I can help you to deal with problems and concerns. And I will always support you for the work. Hope we can be friends all the time.

In the end, thanks again for the salary
raise. I won't let you down. (我不会让你失望的)

yours sincerely,

XXX

Answer 3

太长了，建议一段一段贴出来问

Answer 4

中国式英语的典范！