Question

求求哪位大神帮我改一下作文。。。跪谢。。。

Some parents think that their child should be allowed to use cell phones, for mobile phones are not entirely harmful. To begin with, parents can easily keep in touch with their child by cell phones. Meanwhile, if child have some emergency situations, they also can tell their family quickly. Besides, a smart phone have a great number of applications such as electronic dictionary, electronic book and surfing internet. Students also can use these application to improve their learning efficiency.

Nevertheless, there are more reasons to support that instructor have the right to ban moble phones. Above all, using cell phones can distract student’s study. Most student play their cell phones during class rather than listening class, and they are also cheating in their exams with mobile phones. That is very serious problem. Moreover, the radiation of call phone is huge is issue to children, and it can affect teenager health seriously. According to recent reports, radiation can cause DNA damage because the defensive of teenagers is very low. Especially, long-term exposure would influence mental function and improve chances to get kinds of cancer and other diseases. So we should make students be away from cell phones.

Answer 1

第一行：
child→children their 是他们的，所以孩子不止一个，要用复数.
for→because，for是介词，不能接句子，所以用Because.
第二行：
To begin with→on the one hand To begin with的意思是首先，本来，用在这里不合适

meanwhile→on the other hand ，一方面，另一方面，这样用比较贴切
第三行：
child→children 谓语动词是复数，所以对应主语也应该是复数形式
第四行：
have→has,a smart phone 是单数，所以谓语也用单数has

第二段第三行：
listening →listen do sth rather than do sth前后动词形式要保持一致
第四行：

very前加a，那是一个严重的问题；
the radiation of call phone is huge is issue to children 改成：the radiation of call phone is a huge issue to children

第五行：According to recent reports ，在to之后加不定冠词the
倒数第三行：would→will 或者can
最后一行：make →let be→stay

追问

for 是可以用的，可以当因为来使用

追答

对，可以用for