Question

看看这句话我翻译的有毛病吗，有的话帮忙改改？

When I grow up, I can only running forward. How scared,tumble fall in the dark."Hello the tomorrow",the how tiny the voice is

Answer 1

这应该是《明天你好》的歌词吧？
最后几句有点对不上。
中英对照奉上，望采纳~

Yesterday we walked away
看昨天的我们走远了
In the fate of the central square to wait
在命运广场中央等待
The fuzzy shoulder
那模糊的 肩膀
The more you run more insignificant
越奔跑越渺小
Once alongside forward partners
曾经并肩往前的伙伴
After they separated in the toast
在举杯祝福后都走散
Just one night
只是那个夜晚
have hidden in the heart
我深深的都留藏在心坎
When I grow up I can only run
长大以后我只能奔跑
I'm afraid darkness falls
我多害怕黑暗中跌倒
Hello tomorrow a smile with tears
明天你好含着泪微笑
More beautiful and more afraid of getting
越美好越害怕得到
Every cry
每一次哭
Smiling and running
又笑着 奔跑
While the losing side in search of
一边失去一边在寻找

Hello tomorrow sound how small
明天你好声音多渺小
Remind me
却提醒我
Courage is what
勇敢是什么
When I walked towards the opposite direction
当我朝着反方向走去
In the corner to find the courage
在楼梯的角落找勇气
Shaking his shoulder to cry on
抖着肩膀哭泣
Ask yourself where
问自己在哪里
Once alongside forward partners
曾经并肩往前的伙伴
Silent know my grievance
沉默着懂得我的委屈
The time it always tells lies
时间它总说谎
I never lose the shoulder
我从不曾失去那些肩膀
Grow up
长大以后
I can run
我只能奔跑

I'm afraid darkness falls
我多害怕黑暗中跌倒
Hello tomorrow a smile with tears
明天你好含着泪微笑
More beautiful and more afraid of getting
越美好越害怕得到
Every cry
每一次哭
Smiling and running
又笑着奔跑
While the losing side in search of
一边失去一边在寻找
Hello tomorrow sound how small
明天你好声音多渺小

Answer 2

When I grew up, I can only run forward. How scared I was when I tumbled/ fell in the dark. "Hello, tomorrow", how tiny the voice is!

1 当我长大了，这里的语意是已经长大了，是已经完成了的，个人觉得应该用过去式grew。

When I grow up is future state - a child would use this. 

'When I grow up' indicates you've not grown up yet, that you're thinking of the future. 

When I grew up is past tense. This is an adult talking about when they were younger.

2 can后面永远都是跟动词原形的。改成run。

3 scared 后面应该要加上I was when I tumbled. 你这里用的是HOW表示感叹，所以得用was, 正常语序是I was scared.

4 tumble是摔倒，fall是跌倒和落下. 用其中一个就可以了。但是这里要用过去式。

5 Hello， tomorrow。 这里不需要the的。

6 how tiny the voice is。前面不需要加the.

以上为个人意见及建议。仅供参考学习。

追问

呐啊这个的话应该是未来当我长大以后

我不知道怎么给它加个以后

Answer 3

有些要改的:
running 改成 run,
tumble 在这干嘛？
去掉 Hello 后面的 the ，
去掉 How 前面的 the.
如果提供出原文，我可以改得更贴切。

Answer 4

When I grow up, I could only run forward. How scared I felt when I tumbled fall in the dark. 'Hello, tomorrow', how tiny the voice was.

Answer 5

tomorrow前面不加the
第一句话里I can only run…不能说running
最后一句话how前不加the