Question

求各位大佬帮我修缮一下我的英语作文！！！题目是Turn off your mobile phone

求各位大佬帮我修缮一下我的英语作文！！！题目是Turn off your mobile phoneWith a boom of science and technology, more and more electronic products were invented, especially mobile phone. It has become an indispensable part of humanity daily life. Mobile phone is not limited to calling and sending messages. The convenience of watching movies listening to music and paying for purchases can be realized through the mobile phone. Thanks to it, it's easy for us to contact or be contacted by others anytime and anywhere. It's universally acknowledged that every coin has two sides.
Though it's easy to contact and communicate, as the same we will spend more time on the phone less time to stay together having a face-to-face talk. What's more, there are so many interesting games on the mobile phone. Your study time will be occupied and you will fail in your final exam.
In a word, you should turn off your mobile phone in some occasions such as the library, the theatre and so on. As far as I'm concerned, I hold the view that it's a good habit for those who excessively dependent on mobile phones. Please shut off your phone provided that you are the one of them. It's a respect for both others and yourself.

Answer 1

我觉得写手机用处的篇幅太长，应该多写点危害，比如人与人之间的关系远了，家长和孩子亲子关系，低头族容易产生的危害。最终让手机不是要拉远距离而是亲身接触。比如从写信的年代写到手机，就能体现手机的不足，所以建议关掉手机。

追问

那从英语句法上呢？比如那些句子可以用些从句之类的？

追答

我觉得你从句用的特别好，好多我都想不到。：）

追问

好吧，谢谢你哦