求高人帮 看和改我的英语演讲稿的语法是否有错误！！！！！！凡好必加分！
急急急急快快快快快快快快快快快快快快快！！以下是稿（我是初中的）：A.B.Goodmorning，everyone！Todaywewilltellyouaboutourd...
急急急急快快快快快快快快快快快快快快快！！以下是稿（我是初中的）：
A.B. Good morning，everyone！ Today we will tell you about our dream.
A. I’m older two minutes than my sister ．So I’m older sister
B. I am younger two minutes than my sister．So I am younger sister.
AB. We are twins．We look the same. But sometimes we have some differences.
A. At an early age I want to be a shop assistant.
B. Oh, Why?
A. Because my mother tell me the assistant can eat a lot of foot. I am very happy .So I want to be a shop assistant.
B. But I'd like to be a scientist.
A. Why?
B. Because scientists very famous. It has a lot of money.
AB. Then in the primary，we have different dreams.
A.I want to be a teacher .
B. Why?
A. Because the teacher can give students a lots homework. What about you?
B. I want to be a painter.
A. Why is that?
B. Because I love painting . I hope I have Ma Liang's Magic pen I think is excited.
A. At now I want to be a writer. That is cool！You know why？
B. No，you said.
A. Because I love reading very mach！And writer of book for many people see. How about you?
B. EH~ I want to be a engineer.
A. Why do you think so?
B. Because engineers may build a house and do a lot of design.
A. This is a good dream.
AB. We are said to ourselves "I can manage" Everyone has dream。Just at the dream that will achieve .
AB. That’s all. Thank you. 展开
A.B. Good morning，everyone！ Today we will tell you about our dream.
A. I’m older two minutes than my sister ．So I’m older sister
B. I am younger two minutes than my sister．So I am younger sister.
AB. We are twins．We look the same. But sometimes we have some differences.
A. At an early age I want to be a shop assistant.
B. Oh, Why?
A. Because my mother tell me the assistant can eat a lot of foot. I am very happy .So I want to be a shop assistant.
B. But I'd like to be a scientist.
A. Why?
B. Because scientists very famous. It has a lot of money.
AB. Then in the primary，we have different dreams.
A.I want to be a teacher .
B. Why?
A. Because the teacher can give students a lots homework. What about you?
B. I want to be a painter.
A. Why is that?
B. Because I love painting . I hope I have Ma Liang's Magic pen I think is excited.
A. At now I want to be a writer. That is cool！You know why？
B. No，you said.
A. Because I love reading very mach！And writer of book for many people see. How about you?
B. EH~ I want to be a engineer.
A. Why do you think so?
B. Because engineers may build a house and do a lot of design.
A. This is a good dream.
AB. We are said to ourselves "I can manage" Everyone has dream。Just at the dream that will achieve .
AB. That’s all. Thank you. 展开
2个回答
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A.B. Good morning everyone！Today we [would like to] tell you about our dream[s].
good morning后面不用停顿，直接就good morning everyone就可以了。would like to...: 想，希望可以。这样说比较适合，另外因为是两个人，所以dream应该是dreams
A. I'm two minutes [older] than my sister ．So I'm [the] older sister.
B. And I am two minutes [younger] than my sister. So I am [the] younger sister.
AB. We are twins. We look the same. But [we are also different.]
这里我稍微改了一下，我想你的意思是说虽然我们长的一样，可是有的时候还是不一样的。可是我觉得更好的表达是“我们虽然长得一样，我们却是不一样的两个人”。
A. [When I was a young child] I want[ed] to be a shop assistant.
“小的时候”的英文翻译很中国英语。比较顺畅的还是“当我还是小孩子的时候”。另外还有一个错误（后面也有同样的错误），就是want的过去式。因为那是你曾经的梦想，所以必须用过去式wanted。
B. Oh, Why?
A. Because [our mom told] me [that] the assistant can eat a lot of [food]. So I [was] very happy, [and] I want[ed] to be a shop assistant.
这里你用的是mother，虽然没有错，可是你是和你的妹妹说话，用mother会太生疏。同样的因为是和妹妹在说话，my mother的my也被改成了our（我们的～）。还有就是is的过去式：was，want和wanted。
B. [I wanted] to [become] a scientist.
严格来说语法方面to be也是正确的，可是因为你是希望成为科学家，become会更适合。
A. Why?
B. Because scientists [can become] very famous. [They will then have] a lot of money.
can become是可以变成，可以成为～的意思。当然同样的，因为他们可以变成名人，也will，将会拥有很多钱。
AB. Then in the primary [school]，we [also had] different dreams.
primary不是小学的意思。小学是primary school或elemenray school。要加上school哦～还有就是had是have的过去式，要注意你是说小学的事情，所以也是要用过去式哦。
A.I want[ed] to be a teacher .
B. Why?
A. Because teacher[s] can give students lots homework. What about you?
觉得用teachers比the teacher好很多，因为不光是一个老师可以啊，很多老师都可以给学生好多作业哦～嘻嘻。第二点就是a lots，这个是错误的，要不是lots，没有a的，要不就是a lot。
B. I want[ed] to be a painter.
A. Why is that?
B. Because I love painting . I [wished to] have Ma Liang's Magic pen. I [thought that was exciting].
同样的，时态错误。
A. [But] now I want to be a writer. You know why？
At now是完全的中国英语。你想说现在，实际上直接Now开始就可以了，不用加前面的At的。不过我放了一个But在前面，因为这样会比较流畅。还有就是That is cool《自己说自己有点自大啊，哈哈～还是删了吧，呵呵。
B. No, [why?]
A. Because I love reading [so much]！And [lots of people read your books if you're a writer]. How about you?
这里按照原意改了。mach的意思和much完全不一样哦，要注意。
B. Um, I want to be [an] engineer.
a 和 an，元音前是an哦。
A. Why [engineer]?
不用啰嗦，直接问“为什么要当engineer？”
B. Because engineers [can design and] build house[s].
我剪短了不少。意思也表达的更清楚了。engineer们可以设计以及建造房子。
A. This is a good dream.
AB. [We always say to] ourselves "[nothing is impossible]" Everyone has dream[s]. [Dreaming is the first step to achieving.]
we are是“我们是～”的意思，所以你觉得“我们是对自己说～”在中文里面通吗？所以我改成了we always～，意思是“我们总是～”。另外如果用“我们”对自己说的话的话，“I always～”比较不适合，所以干脆就避开，用一句很经典的“nothing is impossible”（没有不可能的）。最后的一句真的看了几边才明白意思，我想你是想表达只要赶梦想，总会达到（或者类似）的意思吧。Dreaming is the first step to achieving是说“去梦想是成功的第一步”
AB. That's all. Thank you [for listening].
－－－－－－－
不好意思我比较啰嗦啊～呵呵。不过不光要赶作业，我觉得如果意思明白的话，背起来会更轻松一点吧。Good luck！
good morning后面不用停顿，直接就good morning everyone就可以了。would like to...: 想，希望可以。这样说比较适合，另外因为是两个人，所以dream应该是dreams
A. I'm two minutes [older] than my sister ．So I'm [the] older sister.
B. And I am two minutes [younger] than my sister. So I am [the] younger sister.
AB. We are twins. We look the same. But [we are also different.]
这里我稍微改了一下，我想你的意思是说虽然我们长的一样，可是有的时候还是不一样的。可是我觉得更好的表达是“我们虽然长得一样，我们却是不一样的两个人”。
A. [When I was a young child] I want[ed] to be a shop assistant.
“小的时候”的英文翻译很中国英语。比较顺畅的还是“当我还是小孩子的时候”。另外还有一个错误（后面也有同样的错误），就是want的过去式。因为那是你曾经的梦想，所以必须用过去式wanted。
B. Oh, Why?
A. Because [our mom told] me [that] the assistant can eat a lot of [food]. So I [was] very happy, [and] I want[ed] to be a shop assistant.
这里你用的是mother，虽然没有错，可是你是和你的妹妹说话，用mother会太生疏。同样的因为是和妹妹在说话，my mother的my也被改成了our（我们的～）。还有就是is的过去式：was，want和wanted。
B. [I wanted] to [become] a scientist.
严格来说语法方面to be也是正确的，可是因为你是希望成为科学家，become会更适合。
A. Why?
B. Because scientists [can become] very famous. [They will then have] a lot of money.
can become是可以变成，可以成为～的意思。当然同样的，因为他们可以变成名人，也will，将会拥有很多钱。
AB. Then in the primary [school]，we [also had] different dreams.
primary不是小学的意思。小学是primary school或elemenray school。要加上school哦～还有就是had是have的过去式，要注意你是说小学的事情，所以也是要用过去式哦。
A.I want[ed] to be a teacher .
B. Why?
A. Because teacher[s] can give students lots homework. What about you?
觉得用teachers比the teacher好很多，因为不光是一个老师可以啊，很多老师都可以给学生好多作业哦～嘻嘻。第二点就是a lots，这个是错误的，要不是lots，没有a的，要不就是a lot。
B. I want[ed] to be a painter.
A. Why is that?
B. Because I love painting . I [wished to] have Ma Liang's Magic pen. I [thought that was exciting].
同样的，时态错误。
A. [But] now I want to be a writer. You know why？
At now是完全的中国英语。你想说现在，实际上直接Now开始就可以了，不用加前面的At的。不过我放了一个But在前面，因为这样会比较流畅。还有就是That is cool《自己说自己有点自大啊，哈哈～还是删了吧，呵呵。
B. No, [why?]
A. Because I love reading [so much]！And [lots of people read your books if you're a writer]. How about you?
这里按照原意改了。mach的意思和much完全不一样哦，要注意。
B. Um, I want to be [an] engineer.
a 和 an，元音前是an哦。
A. Why [engineer]?
不用啰嗦，直接问“为什么要当engineer？”
B. Because engineers [can design and] build house[s].
我剪短了不少。意思也表达的更清楚了。engineer们可以设计以及建造房子。
A. This is a good dream.
AB. [We always say to] ourselves "[nothing is impossible]" Everyone has dream[s]. [Dreaming is the first step to achieving.]
we are是“我们是～”的意思，所以你觉得“我们是对自己说～”在中文里面通吗？所以我改成了we always～，意思是“我们总是～”。另外如果用“我们”对自己说的话的话，“I always～”比较不适合，所以干脆就避开，用一句很经典的“nothing is impossible”（没有不可能的）。最后的一句真的看了几边才明白意思，我想你是想表达只要赶梦想，总会达到（或者类似）的意思吧。Dreaming is the first step to achieving是说“去梦想是成功的第一步”
AB. That's all. Thank you [for listening].
－－－－－－－
不好意思我比较啰嗦啊～呵呵。不过不光要赶作业，我觉得如果意思明白的话，背起来会更轻松一点吧。Good luck！
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I’m two minutes older than my sister ．So I’m older sister .
At early ages I want to be a shop assistant.
Because scientists are very famous and earn a lot
I hope I have Ma Liang's Magic pen I think it is excting.
At early ages I want to be a shop assistant.
Because scientists are very famous and earn a lot
I hope I have Ma Liang's Magic pen I think it is excting.
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