Question

英语帝进来，看看这一段有什么语法错误啊。``````

Hi！everyone。Welcome to China! Welcome to my hometown !my name is XXXX。I am a fourteen-year-old student from XXXXX Junior middle school .XXXX is my hometown ,of course ,I love here .Here is a good place to visit . I hope you’re enjoying your stay here .Finally I think I can know more about the US in this activity.
我又重写，看看怎么样
Hi!everybody,welcome to my hometown Yuexi.My name is Cheng Liuli.Now I am fourteen from Tiantang junior high school,I am just a junior student there.
Yuexi is not only a country with a long history,but it is a good place to have a trip.I love here and I think you will also love it.I wish everybody of you will enjoy yourself and maybe you could talk to me about your lovely hometown as our friendship as return.

Answer 1

是想向外国朋友介绍你自己和家乡，同时与对方交友，是吧？

语法不是你表达的关键问题，而是语气语感，正是因为太过分强调规范的用语用词，所以通篇讲述出来的感觉，都太过生硬中文化。

按照美国人的习惯，照你需要的重写这段文，千万切记。交流交流，不管哪种语言，交流的内容永远是最重要的，形式永远次之。对于母语的人，无论你如何语无伦次，对方都能根据你的身体语言神态情景关键词，猜个八九不离十，所以这就是我个人的体会。努力讲些对你对对方而言，更重要的内容，才是交流中应该重视的问题。

hi,everybody,welcome here(welcome to china.如果非得强调到‘中国’这一特殊地域，就加上吧，其实来的人都知道，何必再生硬地强调，还不如把CHINA换成当地的具体地名，更让人感兴趣)welcome to my hometown xxx(你家乡的具体地名，可以只转换成拼音即可)！this is/i'm XXX(报上你的名+姓【拼音或译名】，做个简单自我介绍,eg.now i'm fourteen fm xxx school,i'm just a junior student there.i'm pround of this place,not only because it's my hometown,but for its impressing site-seeing and long history and blabla...bla[你家乡的特点，自己挑选最想介绍的简要讲吧]，等你描述完了，对方自然会体会到你家乡的美好，另外也会从你自豪的语气中，得出这个结论，所以。。。i love here,here is a good place to visit什么的，就分解成家乡的具体介绍融汇进你们的对话中吧，别再像初学英文似的生硬表达了，对方反而会认为你们安排的接待不够隆重，会想为什么不找个英文地道的同学过来介绍呢？那样，会和你追求的结果适得其反吧？介绍的最后，可以讲讲你对对方这次来访的美好祝愿。....i wish everyone of you a nice and comfortable journey / visit.and looking forward to be your friend fm this precious opportunity,and maybe you could talk to me about your lovely hometown as our friendship gift as return.(最后一句用比较调侃轻松但立场坚定的口气，既能表达你希望进一步了解对方的愿望，又带点意外的幽默，在这种昂扬的语气下，表达出你接触对方了解对方的坚定愿望。在让对方意外的愉快表达之外，开怀的气氛最适合增进彼此的深入交流。这是实践得来的真知。)

希望，有所帮助~~呵呵

Answer 2

学校名字中的普通名词也得大写首字母 middle==>Middle school==>School
of course前用点号结束上一句，且将of首字母大写
here不是名词，不能用作love的宾语，改为it 即 I love it. It is a good place to visit.
如楼上所说，该文还有逻辑失误。
另外，注意标点的正确使用，英文就该用英文标点，英文中没有句号，代之为点号。。。
能力有限，仅发现如上瑕疵，望采纳。

Answer 3

1.Now I am fourteenfrom Tiantang junior high school------------Now I am fourteen,and I am from Tiantang Junior High School
2.Yuexi is not only a country with a long history,but it is a good place to have a trip----------Yuexi is not only a country with a long history,but it is also a good place to have a trip
3.I wish everybody of you will enjoy yourself ----------I hope that you will enjoy yourself
4. maybe you could talk to me about your lovely hometown as our friendship as return.---------maybe you could talk to me about your lovely hometown in return for our friendship (绝对没问题，希望你能喜欢！)

Answer 4

没有明显的语法错误，但是有中式英语的影子，比如Here is a good place to visit。另外就是有点罗嗦重复了，前面都说了欢迎到我家乡了，后面又说XXXX is my hometown。

Answer 5

It is a good place to visit
I hope you will enjoy staying here
Finally I think I will know more about the US in this activity.

Answer 6

i love here 改为i love it!
Here is a good place to visit 改为It is a good place to visit
I hope you'll enjoy your trip here.