Question

帮我看看英语作文!谢谢!

我的英语很不好 语法很差 请大家帮忙指点一下 谢谢！

要求：你是李明，给校长写信，说明学校食堂质量问题，标题如下：
A letter to the university president about the canteen service on campus

Dear MR.President，
My name is Li Ming。I am a common student in our school。As the school term drawing to a close，I venture to write this letter which is because of there are a lot of complaints among students about the canteen’s service。
There are two main problems，I think。 On the one hand，with the more fresh students pour into our school，which make our canteen room seems too small to have a dinner 。During the peak of eat，my classmates and I often found that it is difficult to find a seat to sit down。On the other hand，the attitude of a small part of canteen servicers are too bad。Sometimes ，the fish and meat are not given full measure. Sometimes, they had a cool face toward us, unfriendly at all, just like we owe their money.
Good service,I think,it is of the utmost importance to a excellent canteen.We all satisfied with the food of our school canteen,they are delicious and nutritious.So if it changed above 2 main problems ,I firmly believe , we couldn’t love it more.
Thank you!
Best regards
Li Ming

Answer 1

我只是尽我所能帮你看看，希望你会满意。

I am Liming, a common student in our university.
这里是两句简单句，还是连成这样比较好。

which is [[[because]]] there are a lot of [[[complaintments]]] among students about the canteen’s service.
because + 句子，because + 短语；
抱怨的名词应该是complaintment

with the more fresh students pour into our school，which make our canteen room seems too small to have a dinner.
如果用with，那么说明引导的是状语，表示原因，这不是句子，逗号后面不能用定语从句，将前面的介词短语改成主句；
改成：
more fresh students have poured into our university, which makes our canteen room seem too small to have a dinner.
应该是 More fresh
现在完成时态，更好；
make + sb. + do ，某事让某人/某物变得怎样，

During our eating,这样比较好

my classmates and I often [[[find]]] that it is difficult to find a seat to sit down.
这里就find用错了，另外，你的动词不定式表示定语，用得非常好；

the [[[attitudes]]] of a small part of canteen servicers are too bad.
主语用复数，你这里粗心，因为你的谓语动词是are；

they [[[show]]] [[[their]]] cool [[[faces]]] [[[towards]]] us
注意单复数

just like we owe their money
这句太中国化了，建议删掉；

Good service,I think, [[[is]]] of the utmost importance to a excellent canteen.
I think 只是插入语，主语为good service，所以it多余；
of + 名词 = 形容词，这个用法不错！

we are all satisfied with ...
be satisfied with sth.对……满意，固定搭配
如果你要表示以前，那么最好用：
we used to be satisfied with ...
这样更好；

they were delicious and ...
表示过去很可口且有营养；

so if our school canteen is not changed the 2 main problems above, I ...
这样比较好

你看看吧，希望对你有帮助。

Answer 2

good,但字母太小了，看不清